Things started going awry, when you made it a habit to beat me, then buy me a car or a new apartment to apologize. Things started going from bad to worse, when you’d force yourself on me, then clamp your hand over my mouth, and tell me not to scream, cause my boys would hear me.

You raped me day in and out, you became angry at me for no reason, and then, when you became okay, you’d buy me a car or a new boutique or apartment to apologize.

I finally found the reason for your tantrums, Mthandeni. You had made your side chick pregnant! My ears rang when I found out, you had been seeing her for four years. That means, when I was greiving for my dead daughter, that I never got to know, you were grieving inside another fucking woman, Mthandeni!

I confronted you, Mthandeni, and instead of explaining, you beat me again and again, the raped me, leaving me bleeding on our bedroom floor.

You brought her to my house Mthandeni, she was an accountant. She was educated and pretty. I was pretty, not educated. I felt small. I watched as you treated her with care and respect. She looked much younger, and I found out she was only 27.

I had to listen to you and her making love in the other room, Mthandeni. When I told my parents, my father shouted,

“He’s a man. Men will always cheat. What matters is, you’re the one with the ring.”

So, I stayed, at home they said, I’m no longer their daughter. I felt broken. Every night I had to listen to your side’s loud moans, I’m sure my babies heard that too.

I started painting, to release stress and it helped. One day, I posted my painting online, and I was approached by a person who collected paintings. He bought my painting for 2.3 million.

It got worse when your side gave birth, she gave you what I could’ve given you, but you took away, Mthandeni! She gave you a daughter! 

I watched you, as you became a girl’s dad, and you started neglecting your heirs, Mthandeni! Yes, I failed to give you a girl, but, I gave you the most important things, sons, heirs, the very same heirs that will give you grandkids and grow your name like you always wanted!