I’m SORRY

I’m sorry I lost my way back to you

I’m sorry I cut all contact with you

I’m sorry I broke my promise to you

But you have to understand

It had to be this way.

I won’t deny it, sometimes I think of you.

Most days I fight the urge to let go of everything

to give up on everything and run back to your ever welcoming arms.

You were my comfort zone

I felt detached from the entire world when I was with you

I didn’t think of anyone even myself when I was enveloped by your arms

I was lost in a world of eerie silence and nothingness

some days it felt good.

But one glimpse at the sky changed everything.

Now I’m aware that it’d be easier to just slip back into your arms and get swallowed by all that is you

However, I don’t want to

I’ve since acquired a new fancy

And there’s nothing you have to offer that can tickle it

I’ve tasted clouds and danced with the stars.

I’ve flown with eagles and glided over storns.

I can tell light and darkness apart now.

I’m sorry if I’m being too harsh but that is the God honest truth.

I can’t stand haunted houses anymore

I don’t hand around ghosts anymore, I stand up to them now

Where stood a barely standing haunted house now stands beautiful home with a firm foundation

Where tears of terror once flowed now flows tears of delight

Where the unbearable smell of sorrow once hung now hangs hope

And where fear once floated about now floats courage and security

I did that and I’ve never been prouder before.

I admit I do feel terrified sometimes

Always waiting for the clock to strike 12

But I’ve grown to understand that fear cultivates courage

I felt nothing when I was with you

Now I’ve learnt that it’s okay to feel

Now I believe that it’s alright to feel.

I’m sorry that I implore dragons in me everyday to forever spit fire on all the roads that lead back to you

I’m sorry I burn bridges everyday that I know will take me down that road

I’m sorry I build walls of light everyday to guarantee that if you ever find me, you don’t make it inside

I’m so sorry I am not sorry I broke ties with you.