I’m SORRY
I’m sorry I lost my way back to you
I’m sorry I cut all contact with you
I’m sorry I broke my promise to you
But you have to understand
It had to be this way.
I won’t deny it, sometimes I think of you.
Most days I fight the urge to let go of everything
to give up on everything and run back to your ever welcoming arms.
You were my comfort zone
I felt detached from the entire world when I was with you
I didn’t think of anyone even myself when I was enveloped by your arms
I was lost in a world of eerie silence and nothingness
some days it felt good.
But one glimpse at the sky changed everything.
Now I’m aware that it’d be easier to just slip back into your arms and get swallowed by all that is you
However, I don’t want to
I’ve since acquired a new fancy
And there’s nothing you have to offer that can tickle it
I’ve tasted clouds and danced with the stars.
I’ve flown with eagles and glided over storns.
I can tell light and darkness apart now.
I’m sorry if I’m being too harsh but that is the God honest truth.
I can’t stand haunted houses anymore
I don’t hand around ghosts anymore, I stand up to them now
Where stood a barely standing haunted house now stands beautiful home with a firm foundation
Where tears of terror once flowed now flows tears of delight
Where the unbearable smell of sorrow once hung now hangs hope
And where fear once floated about now floats courage and security
I did that and I’ve never been prouder before.
I admit I do feel terrified sometimes
Always waiting for the clock to strike 12
But I’ve grown to understand that fear cultivates courage
I felt nothing when I was with you
Now I’ve learnt that it’s okay to feel
Now I believe that it’s alright to feel.
I’m sorry that I implore dragons in me everyday to forever spit fire on all the roads that lead back to you
I’m sorry I burn bridges everyday that I know will take me down that road
I’m sorry I build walls of light everyday to guarantee that if you ever find me, you don’t make it inside
I’m so sorry I am not sorry I broke ties with you.