Thandiwe

The beeping of the machines woke me up, I opened my eyes and for a split second I thought that I would find Sbonga by my side.

The nurse smiled as she looked at me “You finally awake.” She said as she continued to write on the file.

“Where am I?”

“Relax ma’am, you are at Tembisa hospital you were in a very bad accident.”

I tried to sit but failed, I laid back down and looked at the nurse “My daughter. I was with my daughter where is she?”

“Your child was declared dead on the scene, I’m sorry.” My eyes got blinded by tears as I looked up at the ceiling. “Are you sure.”

“Was she wearing a yellow dress?”

More tears came out as I nodded. “We called the next of kin, Sbonga to come and identify the body.”

“Did he perhaps came to see me?”

The nurse shook her head “But he said I must give you this.”

The nurse handed me the wedding, Holding the ring on my hand felt like I was holding a dagger.

It was more of a confirmation that everything that happened was no nightmare that had come to pass, It had all been real.

“And I’m sorry to say that you are now paralysed, your spinal cord had been very much damaged during that accident.”

I tried to wiggle my toes but they did not move, I was now paralysed and will probably will be like this for the rest of my life. Everything felt so surreal. In just a few weeks I had managed to mess up my own marriage, I lost my daughter and the man who loved me for real left me probably for the best and I managed to fall in love with no human.

Mam’ Mavis walked in just in time to save me from my thoughts, her eyes were filled with tears “I thought I had lost you too.” The nurse excused herself as soon as Mam’ Mavis sat down.

“Why Thandiwe?” She asked shaking her head “Why did you have to break his heart?”

I looked out the window not knowing what to say, after everything Sbonga had done for me and I had managed to go and mess it all up in just a blink of an eye just because I was blinded the money and flashy lifestyle and in the end I lost it all.

“I don’t know.”

“He left, he told me to give this to you ” She said as she took out a letter from her purse. “I’ll give you space.” I opened the letter with shaky hands.

Thandiwe

You have been the first girl I loved and I told myself that oneday I’ll get her and I did. You were all mine to have at least you were for a little while. After that fiasco with the lecturer I thought that maybe we’ll be together forever.

But you went and messed it, maybe I was no longer enough for you. I love you enough to want to let you go, I’m not leaving because I no longer love you, I believe that you will always have a special place in my heart. I am leaving because I can no longer take this pain you are feeding me right now.

This time I’m leaving for good, hoping that you also have found the happiness deserve from the person you chose.

This time I’m choosing me, just like how you have been choosing you.

Goodbye Thandiwe

The letter had traces of tears, in other parts. Showing how hurt he was while writing this letter.

I held the letter on my chest and cried, I cried for all the times I have hurt Sbonga, I cried for all the times I was blinded by the money and love I got from the other guys.

I cried for putting myself in this position, now I have lost the man who loved me all because of my own wrong doings.

I was now alone, my daughter is also gone and so is the man who loved me I was now all alone.

There was never a happy ending for the girls like me, and to think I had it but I was stupid enough to let it slipped right off my hands.

Mam’ Mavis walked in and gave me a sad smile “You still have a home in my place.”

I nodded, at least she hadn’t given up on me just as yet. “Thank you.” Was all that I managed to say and I prayed thay Sbonga would someday heal from the pain that I put him through and hoped that he will be able to find the woman that will love him with all that she had after all I had failed to be the right woman for him probably this time he will find happiness.