Sindie

She was right, thinking to what my mother said standing right there at the door way with a beer in her hand sluggering a bit as if she will fall at any given time. “You think being a mother is easy, look at me failing to being a mother and you think you you can do better than me?”

She was right about one thing being a mother is not easy, waking up at 2 a.m while deep in your sleep just because Naledi was crying was not easy.I look at her as she is sucking on my breast but my mother was wrong about one thing and I will do better than her at being a mother.

Bang, bang, bang

The rough knock pulls me put of my thoughts, with a racing mind wondering who it is no longer covering the Naledi breastfeeding I hurry towards the door wondering if something happened to my mother, is it the police hear to tell me that my mother was hit by a car.

I stand at the wooden door that has seen better days with shaky hands, fearing that my heart will stop beating I open the door and standing there facing me is not the police not even close.

I take a step back a little now my mind racing but with only question ringing on my ears how did he find me?

“Ndumiso.” It is as if I asked a question, but he was hear on my front door, he takes a step inside and look around I don’t even turn around to see that he has seen the crumbling walls, the broken cupboard with no door and you can see the 2 plates in there and 2 cups there’s nothing eye pleasing about the room.

“Thandi.” He says with a bit of smile as he looks at Naledi “Is that her? My child?” It was more of a statement than a question. I gulp down not believing my eyes. The one of many older man I slept with was here, “She’s really beautiful.”

Naledi looks curiously at the man infront in front of her.

The 50 something year old man was here wearing a Jean with a red t-shirt with his potbelly showing.

“How did you find me?” I finally ask the question that has been burning me.