Thandiwe



My mother?

I laughed as I looked at her. “Quit playing, April’s Fool has long past.” But as I saw the seriousness in her eyes, I realised that it might be true.

I held my head in denial, shaking it vigorously. “No,” I said as I looked at her. “No.” It can’t be. She cannot be my mother.

How is that possible? How is it possible that she can be my mother? “How?”

A tear escaped from her eye, and her voice quivered. “I was young when I had you. I was raped by my uncle. They took you away and gave you to my mother, your grandmother, to raise you so as to hide the shame. I came back here when you were just 13 years old, and I thought that I would get you back. But my mother refused to give you back because she wanted your grant money. And when you were about to turn 19, she saw no use for you and decided to kick you out.”

I shook my head in disbelief. Turns out my whole life has been a lie. Nothing that I know is true. “Does that mean Okuhle…” I trailed off.

Mam Mavis shook her head. “No, he is not my child.”

“You are my mother?” I asked, as if I had not heard her say that she was. She nodded, and I could see the pain and regret in her eyes. She pulls me tightly into her arms, and I can feel her trembling as she hugs me “I’m sorry,” she said, more to herself than to me.

I held her tightly as I burst into tears, my world shattered and rebuilt in an instant.