Sindie



Time seemed to come to a standstill as the piercing scream escaped my lips. In that moment, I turned my head and saw Lloyd slumped in the backseat, two bullet holes staining his chest. The world around me blurred as my mind struggled to comprehend the horrifying sight before me.

“No!” I screamed, my voice choked with disbelief. It felt as though I had been thrust into a terrible nightmare, a nightmare from which I desperately wanted to wake up from. But this was reality, a cruel reality that I couldn’t escape.

Without hesitation, I leaped into the backseat, cradling Lloyd’s lifeless body in my arms. His small form lay motionless, his once vibrant spirit extinguished. The weight of his lifeless body pressed against me, a heart-wrenching reminder of the tragedy that had unfolded.

The details of when the police arrived or when Shawn appeared eluded me. Time became a blur as grief enveloped my every thought and emotion. My baby boy, my sweet innocent baby boy, had been snatched away in a split second, stolen from me by an act of senseless violence.

Shawn pulled me into his arms, his voice filled with determination. “We’re going to find out who did this, okay?” His words offered a glimmer of hope amidst the suffocating darkness.

But all I could do was shake my head, tears streaming down my face like an endless river. “He’s gone, he’s gone,” I repeated like a mantra, as if saying the words enough times would somehow bring me back to a reality where this nightmare hadn’t happened.

As I watched the coroners cover Lloyd’s lifeless body with a foil blanket and gently place him onto a stretcher, my heart shattered into a million pieces. The image of his small body being wheeled away, forever out of reach, seared into my memory.

Covered in his blood, I stumbled out of the car, feeling the weight of grief pulling me down. I sank to my knees, the world spinning around me, and unleashed a torrent of tears. It felt as though a part of me had died alongside my precious boy.

In the midst of my anguish, Naledi, my daughter, wrapped her tiny arms around me, tears streaming down her face as well. We clung to each other, finding solace in our shared pain. In that moment, I realised that despite my own powerlessness, I had to be strong for her, to be her rock in this sea of despair. But for now, all I could do was cry, my tears mingling with hers, as we mourned the loss of Lloyd.

Why I wanted to scream to the universe. Haven’t I suffered enough? The unbearable weight of grief pressed upon my chest.