Today I mark 8395 days in a place of detention. I got here when my hands were supple and soft, now they has began to wrinkle and my nails has brittle. My silver fox years has begun. The institutional clothing has grown out of me. My vision is getting blurry, and my body had acquainted the inside frigid. Their skimpy and stale meal has kept me breathing.

I just came from the chow hall approaching my cell and I hears the police warden calling my name “Mr. Daluxolo Wellem follow me now”. I wonder why he is even calling me, maybe they want to transfer me to another prison of which I don’t want to be a sufferer again. I thought to myself

I did follow him, As we are strolling down the corrido he is whistling a tune. His hands are in his trouser pockets. He seemed to be a happy man.

I clears my throat; with a hoarse voice I asked “Sir? are you transferring me to another cell?” He continues with his whistle I am not sure whether he heard me.

It felt awkward so I didn’t ask again. He took out his hand from the pocket he pat my shoulder and he said “No sir you’re getting released today!” then he continues with his whistling.

I had a mixed emotions my legs were getting weak. We arrives at the police reception he said “Wait for me here I’ll come back right now”

I look around I found a bench chair and I take a seat, while I’m still waiting for police warden to come back and trying to process what I just heard, an old lady joined me. She greeted “Hey, let me join you I’m here to see my son, but I’m waiting for receptionists she’s in the rest room”

I replied “Oh hey! By the way how’s life out there?”

She replied “What can I say life is having its ups and down, why are you asking me that? were you behind the bars?” she asked. I just nodded my head.

She asked “Were you arrested for robbery or did you kill?” The conversation is getting bold as if we knew each other for quite some time.

I replied “None of them, I never took what does n7ot belong to me and to think of it, I don’t even know how to kill a mere fly. It’s only my blood sister who knows what happened, she’s the one who put me here and took away my freedom to live”

The confusion was written all over her face “then why are you here?” she asked

“I’m here because one day I woke up my hands coated with blood and my left hand was holding a gun, my thumb was ready to pull a trigger. When I lifted my eyes there were two police man at my crib d m blood sister escorted them.”

“Take me to the day” She said, I could tell she was interested in hearing my story. Then I did continued

After the police got in my room they said “you’re under arrest for the murderer of David Autumn the father of your sister’s child!. You have the right to remain silent because everything you said can be used against you in the court of law”. while they were still gathering evidence and forcing me to get out from the bed I managed to escape through the window.

She was getting more perturbed and she said “Great you escaped but how did you got here?” I took a deep breath and I began to explain to her

“Well after I escaped I was being hunted by the community, the hitman and the police. Everyone wanted a justice for David but they were looking it at the wrong place. I had three options. First one was to let the community caught me first and burn my body into ashes then throw them into the sea. The second one was to let the hitman found me first, torture me to death and throw my corpse into the valley so I can be eaten by the hyenas and my remains cannot be traceable. And the last option I had was to lend myself into the police and here I am.”

I heard the foot steps of the police warden, I hush down and I stand up so we could proceed with our journey. To my amazement, warden wasn’t ready to go with me. He also ensconced himself in that bench chair.

“Mr. Wellem can you please resume of what you’ve told. I’ve heard you from afar and despite of what is written on your docket file… I would like to hear your side of the story” That was police warden with his silvery tone as he was paging a file that has my name on it.

I struck a glancing blow around me, also the old lady was still there joined by the receptionist their optimistic eyes were all on me. I took a gulp of water and I begin tripping down the memory lane…

“Well on 1980 I was only 15 years old when the Priest said “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust” to my granny’s coffin watching it slowly going six fit under. That was the only soul that was close to my heart. Physically I had to detach from her. Going to Cape Town and looking for my mom was the only choice I had, because I was left all alone and my home was so cold it needed a Mother to keep it warm. I don’t know why she never come back for me. Somehow she did forget about me. All my granny used to say is she went to Cape Town in the means of looking for work so that she can provide for us. As we were the less privileged home.

I still remember the day I set my eyes and foot on Cape Town! Oh what a very glamorous and big city!. I didn’t even know where to begin to search for her, the first person I met was just a lunatic man. I showed her my mother’s picture and I said “Hello! I’m looking for this lady do you know her”? He just shook his head and then he proceeded with his trek. The day went by and the sun was setting without getting a direction of where I can get my mom. I was hopelessly walking down the pavement carrying my tote bag which my grandma made it for me. Inside the bag there was a soccer ball which was made with a collection of plastic bags and my two trousers which were torn in the knees. I was clearly deep in thoughts when I heard a grating voice screaming “help! Help!

I suddenly look back I saw the mugger running towards me with a black purse in his hands. Meaning he snatched it from the crying lady. I swiftly grab a stone and throw it to his forehead! Suddenly he fall down. I run to him and I grab the bag and I went to give it back to the crying lady.

“It’s okay I got your purse don’t cry” with a trembling hand I gave it to her. I could tell she was indebted to me for helping her out!

“Thank You Thank You So much! Let me see what I can give you” She said with a silken voice. She then unzipped her purse took out her wallet . While she was still searching for what she can give to me. I noticed a black wart on the left corner of her eye it looked so familiar! I quickly took out the snap on my coat’s pocket

I showed it to her and I said “Actually I’m looking for my mother, she’s the one in the snap have you ever seen someone like this before?”

Whilst she was giving me the R2 coin she hasty grab the snap

As she was staring at the snap her eyebrows were getting higher, her eyes were widen up, her irises were getting smaller and her mouth was getting open wider, she stood there in shock, thunderstruck. She just inclined her head and throw the snap on my face then she disappeared in a thin air and I thought I’ll never see her again.

With the money she gave to me I bought some bread and milk that was my first meal in three days of not eating anything.

I wanted to go back in Eastern Cape but I remembered there was no one waiting for me at home and I got here with the last cent I had, which took me decades to save up for it.

By the way my name is Daluxolo I was born to make peace. All I wanted was to bury the past and see what’s the future holds for us.