Makukhanye

I looked at the clock, it was 9:43 p.m. and sighed. Sleep was nowhere near. My mind went back to when I left the kitchen an hour ago. Menzi was standing at the end of the hallway, he seemed to fill the entire space and for a second I could have sworn I was looking at our father and not at Menzi. The resemblance was uncanny; he had the same strong jawline, the same piercing eyes and the same stern face. It was as if he was a carbon copy of our father.

His outfit only added to the illusion. The khaki pants and the golf T-shirt made him look older than his years, he looked like he was 20 something when he was young.

But it was more than just his looks that reminded me of our father- it was the way he carried himself. Menzi had always been overprotective, just like our father. He had a tendency to watch over me like a hawk, questioning my every move, and dictate what I could and couldn’t do. It was as if he actually thought he was older than me and that I was incapable of taking care of myself. It was infuriating.

Menzi’s eyes locked with mine. I watched as his eyes narrowed, when they scanned my face and for a minute or two, I thought he could see right through me. His eyes landed on the tears that were staining my cheeks. His jaw tightened and his nostrils flared.

It was his fists that caught my attention. They clenched; his knuckles whitened. For a second, I was scared for Sthembiso, I thought Menzi would launch himself into a battle with Sthembiso, it was as if my tears were a declaration of war.

Menzi’s voice cut through the silence. “Why are you crying?” he asked, his eyes pierced through never leaving mine.

He didn’t move, didn’t take a step closer, but his voice came out soft and not harsh or angry like his clenched fists. I felt a lump form in my throat as I struggled to hold back the tears, but it was too late, they came gushing out.

I angrily wiped my face, my hand brushing across my cheeks roughly. I didn’t want to cry, I didn’t want to show weakness, especially not in front of Menzi. I turned away from him and held the door handle of my bedroom.

“It’s nothing,” I muttered under my breath. I pushed open the door and stepped inside. Finally, I was alone. Finally, I could let my guard down and allow the tears to flow.

I closed the door behind me and leaned against it as if to barricade myself from the rest of the world. I let out a shuddering breath, feeling the tears well up inside.

And then, I let go. I let the tears out. I slid down the door and collapsed onto the floor. 

I was still laying on the floor an hour later, my body was stretched out in a limp position. My head was resting on the soft fluffy carpet, my cheek pressed against the soft fibers.

As I stared blankly into space, my eyes wandered to the bedside table, where the clock glowed with a soft, blue light. I craned my neck, trying to get a better look at the time it was now 9:48 I let out a silent sigh, and dropped my head back on the carpet.

My eyes shifted away from the clock, and I rolled my head to look at the long mirror that hung on the wall opposite me. Even in the dim light, I could see my reflection staring back at me. My hair was a tangled mess, my eyes were puffy and red from all the crying I had done. My clothes looked rumpled and creased. I looked like a complete disaster

I sighed again and slowly sat up. I stretched out my hand and picked up my phone from the bed. The bright light coming from the phone screen made me squint my eyes, I raised my hand to shield my eyes.

Once my eyes adjusted, I scrolled through my phone contacts and dialed Kandy’s number. The phone rang for a few seconds before Kandy’s cheerful voice came through the line. “Hey, how was the dinner party?” she asked, sounding chirpier than I felt.

Before I could respond, the sound of loud music blasted through the speakerphone, making me wince. Kandy was obviously at a bar or a club, and the noise was almost deafening. I held the phone away from my ear. I looked blankly into the darkness of my room. The sound that filled the silence of my room was the beat of music coming from Kandy’s end, as the faint hum of the music settled around me, I suddenly felt alone.

I dragged my eyes to the window, where the curtains were partially open, allowing a sliver of moonlight to slice through the darkness. The light that was coming in casted shadows on the walls, making it seem like the room was shifting and twisting around me.

I slowly brought the phone back to my ear, the music coming from Kandy’s end now sounded less loud.

“It was okay,” I said, the words came out strained like they were stuck in my throat.

There was a pause on the other end of the line, and then Kandy’s voice came through again. “Something is wrong, what is it?” she asked, her words tumbled out in a rush. I could hear the noise of the bar or club fading into the background, and I knew Kandy had probably stepped outside or found a quieter spot for us to talk.

I chewed on my lip, my mind racing with uncertainty. I was not sure if I should tell Kandy about the kiss, I was afraid that she would judge me but then I took a deep breath, and the words came tumbling out. “I kissed my bodyguard yesterday,” I said, all in one breath.

The silence that followed was deafening I waited, holding my breath, counting the seconds as they ticked by.

But then Kandy’s voice came through. “That took you two long enough!” she shouted, her laughter echoing through the phone. I could almost picture her with her face split into a huge grin.

I smiled a little, feeling relieved. I was glad that I was able to spit the news that were keeping my mind a little too busy.

“So…” Kandy’s voice dripped. “How was it? Did the kiss make your toes curl, or was it just meh?”

I closed my eyes, a huge grin spreading across my face, stretching my cheeks, making my eyes crinkle. My hand went to my chest and held on to my pyjama. “It was more than just my toes curling,” I said, my voice came out a little too breathy as I picture the kiss. “It was… magical.”

Kandy’s high-pitched squeal that was so loud I had to hold the phone away from my ear. “Oooh, I knew it!” she shouted. I could almost see her bouncing up and down.

“Are you two dating?” she asked. I could sense her leaning in, with her ears perked up, waiting for the juicy part.

I sighed, feeling a little frustrated. I rolled over and lay on my stomach, with my chin resting on my hand. I looked out the window and stared at the moon. “It’s complicated,” I said, my voice low. I felt a knot form in my stomach, my earlier excitement was now gone.

“How complicated?” Kandy asked. “You like him, right? And I bet he likes you too, he wouldn’t have kissed you if he didn’t. So what’s complicated?” I could sense her confusion.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I said, taking a deep breath.

“And why don’t you know?” Kandy pressed.

“Maybe because my father is Melusi Xaba, and he would rather die than see me date,” I replied.Kandy’s voice on the other end of the line went from curious to stunned.

“No way! Your father is Melusi Xaba, thee Melusi Xaba? Like, the crazy-rich hot billionaire Melusi Xaba?” she squealed.

I rolled my eyes, with a smile on my face. “I think I just swallowed vomit. Firstly, ewww, it’s absolutely disgusting that you just called my father ‘hot’ and yes that greatly feared, crazy rich Melusi Xaba,” I teased, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

Kandy’s laughter echoed through the phone. “Now, tell me, how would you feel if I became your stepmom?” she asked. “We’d surely get along, wouldn’t we?”

I burst out laughing and shook my head. “I think my mother would kill you herself, stuff you in a deep freezer, and turn you into an ice ornament!” I joked, my eyes watering from laughing. My mother was not violent but I could almost see her chasing Kandy around the house with a rolling pin and a frying pan on the other hand. “And let’s just say my father only has eyes for one woman and that woman would be my mother.” 

Kandy let out a dramatic sigh. “Oh darn it, there goes my chance of being a billionaire and going to Paris just for ice cream, wake up in Italy and have my lunch in Dubai.”

I chuckled, shaking my head. I sometimes forget how crazy Kandy can get. “Focus,” I said as I tried to steer the conversation back on track. 

“Okay, okay. I get it now. So, your father would torture or maybe even kill your bodyguard if he found out you two were dating?” Her voice was now serious.

I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “Yeah, something like that.”

“But who cares?” she said. “I don’t mean that your ‘kissing boyfriend’ should die but it doesn’t look like you would date anytime soon. I know what I would say would come out crazy and I am probably a very bad influence, but I say go for it, you’ll cross that bridge when you get to it. Now I think the dance floor is calling my name.”

“Yeah, yeah, go and have fun,” I said, a smile plastered on my face. 

“And you, my lovely innocent friend, go for it. Kiss, kiss.” The phone call went dead, leaving me grinning from ear to ear.

I slipped my feet into my slippers, as I stood up.

My hand hovered over the door handle; my fingers were slightly trembling. I could feel my heart pound in my chest, like a drumbeat. Instead of turning around and go to bed I opened the door and walked out, despite my better judgment.

I took a deep breath, feeling the air fill my lungs and then I let it out slowly, trying to calm my rattled nerves.

I knocked softly on Sthembiso’s door. careful not to make too much noise.

When the door opened the first thing my eyes landed on were abs, a strong chest and more abs. I gulped, suddenly it was too hot in here, I could feel sweat trickling down my spine. My eyes widened in surprise, and I felt a flutter in my chest as I continued to stare. It was rude of me, but it was hard not to look. The water droplets tracing down his chest didn’t help, it was like a race between my eyes and the water droplets trying to see which was one would get lower fast.

After much need effort, I managed to drag my eyes up and forced myself to look at Sthembiso’s eyes. I found him already looking at me with a sly smile. My cheeks flushed at having been caught staring. He leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms, making his biceps come out. He was making it hard for me to focus. “What are you doing here, Makukhanye?” he whispered, looking down the hallway. The sound of his voice made my heart skip a beat.

Without a word, I reached out and gently pushed him inside, my hand touching his chest. The sudden contact sent a spark of electricity through me. I closed the door behind me, the soft click of the door echoed through the silence.

I stood before him, my heart drumming in my chest. “I came to see you,” I said, my voice low. I looked into his eyes.

“You’re hurting my brain by giving me all these mixed signals,” I said, my eyes locking with his. “One minute I think you want me, the next I think you despise me.” I said, I could feel the tension between us building up.

Sthembiso took a step closer, his eyes burning as they looked at me. I stepped back, my heart now stuck in my throat. “If you knew how much I’m trying to hold myself back from pinning you against that wall, you wouldn’t have said what you just said,” he whispered, his voice husky.

He took another step closer, and I swallowed thickly, my throat dry with excitement. I took another step back.

“I want to rip your clothes and claim you,” he said, looking at my small lace pyjamas. I felt myself pool with wetness.

He took another step closer; he now had me backed against the wall, his face was inches from mine. I could feel his warm breath on my skin. “You know what’s stopping me?” he whispered.

I shook my head; my mind now blank. One side of his lips cocked up, and he smiled. “Your father would have my head for dinner,” he whispered, his voice a low rumble that made my knees buckle. “We don’t want that, now do we?”

I shook my head, words were buried on my throat. Sthembiso smiled again, his voice was like a growl. “Good girl,” he whispered, his breath brushing against my skin. “Now go to bed, princess.”

I didn’t move an inch, I just stood frozen. “If you don’t leave in the next ten seconds, I can’t be held accountable for what I’m about to do,” he warned, his voice now husky. He took a couple of steps back and let out a shaky breath

When he started to count his eyes held mine, “One…” He said softly. “Two…” He breathed deeply, his chest rising and falling with the effort.

“Three…” He closed his eyes, as if praying for some kind of restraint.

I still didn’t move. “Four…” He ran his hands through his hair. “Five…” He slowly opened his eyes and looked at me. “Please,” he whispered, his voice was so low I wasn’t sure if I’d really heard him.

“Six…” He took a step closer, his eyes never leaving mine. Now my heart was beating loudly, in my chest. “Seven,” he whispered. He took another step closer.

“Are you punishing me, princess?” he asked, his voice low and husky. I licked my dry lips; the beating of my heart filled my ear drums. “Eight,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. Sthembiso’s eyes flashed; he looked at me like he was hungry to get to me.

“Nine…” He took another step closer, his eyes burning with want. “Ten,” I breathed out. I could now feel Sthembiso’s breath tickling my skin.

“I warned you,” he growled like an animal. He pulled me close, his arms wrapping around my waist. He easily lifted me off the ground and carried me to the bed, laying me down on the silky sheets.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered, his eyes roaming all over my body. He reached out and gently removed my top, his eyes taking their time looking at my bare skin. “Do you want this?” he whispered. I nodded, unable to speak.

As Sthembiso looked at me it was like he was looking straight into my soul. “Just know that you are mine after this, and I don’t do well when people try to take what’s mine,” he warned. His fingers slowly unbuttoned my bra, his fingers grazed my skin making goosebumps run all over my body.

“Okay.” I whispered. Sthembiso’s eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled. “And your father can walk in at this very second and kill me, and I wouldn’t mind,” he said, now lowering my underwear. “You wanna know why, princess?” he asked.

I felt my breath catch in my throat as I looked at him. “Because you are mine now,” he whispered in my ear, making me pool.

It didn’t take long for him to fill me in and the world around us faded away.