I wished death upon myself

More times than you’ve ever walked this earth

Endured the sounds of your screams and the emotions behind your hurtful words

Held on tight to the pillow at night counting how many demons it would take for me to end it 

How many cigarettes would it take for my lungs to give out on me

How many scars would it take for you to notice

How many pills would I have to swallow for my soul to leave my body

What would it take for you to finally find peace

How would I trust you after the pain you’ve caused 

You stood above my body and undeniably wished away my existence in your life  

You can’t even explain

Why does it always have to be about you, your greatness, your pain, your sacrifice and your happiness?

You want to narrate everyone’s story while maintaining the role of the main character. 

What more could I do for you to see the hurt you’ve caused me?

How much of myself 

My soul

My tears 

Would it take for you to see my pain?