WARNING: This piece contains descriptions of sexual abuse.

 

He smelled like a brewery store. Demanding food from me, as if he married me.

I was so pissed, I did not even want to hear him breath. Let alone talk to him. I just did not want to see his face. I couldn’t stand him anymore. My respect for him was long gone. He triggered a lot of emotions, pushing me to lose my mind.

โ€œDon’t you know your way to the kitchen? Just learn to stay away from me, and don’t bother talking to me โ€, I said to him.

He just had one of those dirty smiles on his face. Maybe he just realised I’ve grown some courage in me. I was so fed up with this two-faced, rapist uncle. You all thought he is my boyfriend. No, he is my Uncle.

The next moment I’m holding his legs, dragging him down. My eyes are in a pool of tears. I just want to know. Whether all the rape flashbacks are just imaginations or it’s real. As usual, his face lightened with a smile.

โ€œYou want to know what happened? It’s real, yes I RAPED YOU. Given any chance, I’ll probably do it again. It was nice you know, you were so nice. And your mother did nothing.โ€ That’s all he said, whilst laughing. He said it with so much pride.

I let go of his legs, went and sit down. I cried like I’ve never before. I went to my parents room and knocked. Screaming my lungs out, so that the door could open. In no time , my mother came out. As I told her what his brother has said to me, she just looked at him once. I expected her to shout , or kick him out and call the cops on him. None of that was done. She went back to sleep. How? How could you sleep after he confessed to raping me.

My father on the other side, sound asleep.

I opened my eyes, looked around my room. My brother was sound asleep next to me. That’s when it hit me, that I was just dreaming. My eyes were watery and quite chilly. I wanted to cry. My heart pounded so fast as if it would pop out. I cried, low enough that I do not wake up my brother. As I cried, all the rape flashbacks came back.

I dreamt of the one thing I’ve always longed to hear him say. Confession. Turns out, it’s a dream. The worst one.