I count the sleeping tablets I have in my hand.

A handful of these will accomplish my suicide attempt.

I tried hanging myself but someone found me in time.

I tried poisoning myself but the vomitting actually saved me.

I am so depressed, that death is the only way out for me.

I feel so empty and hollow.

It’s like I am in an abyss.

I don’t have happiness or joy left in me.

I haven’t smiled in a long time.

The talks on the streets are,

“But she is so successful and intelligent and beautiful,

Why would she kill herself?”

But they don’t know what I am dealing with.

Everyday is a challenge for me.

I have no reason for living

And with death, I can stop the torment I am in.

As I down each pill down with a glass of water,

I hope I don’t get to see the next day as it rises.

If you are feeling depressed or suicidal, please know that there is help out there and you can get better. Reach out to SADAG counselling 0800 567 567 (toll-free counselling between 8am and 8pm) or their Suicide Crisis Line: 0800 567 567. You are not alone.