Lying in the blood of my heart and dreams

The clock is ticking.

Tick tock, tick tock

Time is moving slow.

How will this end today?

I can feel life slowly ebbing out of my body

Weak and comatose,

my mission might be accomplished.

A young girl; void of happiness

Self-hate, regret and anger rolled into one.

Each day is a struggle

Depression and loneliness taking over.

Some days; a little better.

Other days; a complete nightmare.

Like taking a deep plunge into a total dark abyss.

Jotting down my feelings, I thought would make

me feel better

But …..it just……didn’t work.

All I have are dangerous thoughts.

Dark, twisted and distorted thoughts.

But who can blame me?

I just want it to all end.

Agony, crying and unstable moods.

Is it all in my head?

Am I attention seeking?

What is wrong with me?

There is nothing wrong with me, the therapist said.

It’s just a mental health disorder.

If only I pop the pills given to me,

I’ll be fine.

But I still have a hole in my heart and still hopeless.

Today, I’ve been pushed over the edge.

Beautiful, quiet and smart girl couldn’t take it

anymore.

As time keeps ticking,

I feel my life slipping through my fingers.

At least I won’t suffer no more.

And I close my eyes.