I have never thought that someday, 

I would have thoughts of suicide. 

Now I understand the feeling of loneliness, 

Of not having a shoulder to cry on by my side. 

I have a family with both parents, 

Yet I feel trapped in a container, 

Alone. 

My heart struggles to accept 

That I have been abandoned. 

The anger they have caused me 

Has made me lose love for myself. 

I wish someone could see how I am truly feeling, 

For I cannot express it myself. 

My laughter betrays the pain in my heart, 

And my smile hides the depth of my despair. 

Sometimes I find moments of happiness, 

Perhaps when I remember that God is with me. 

I simply wanted to greet the world, 

I may seem alive, but inside I am dying. 

I have tried to cry out, 

Yet no one seems to hear my voice. 

At night, I battle against the person within me, 

Fighting to prevent myself from gaining more power. 

I try to convince myself that God is by my side, 

That He will fight for me. 

But it seems the more I pray, 

The stronger the inner struggles become. 

We do not choose our birth families, 

But we can choose who we become. 

Hope is a distant memory, 

And I am sorry, for it has long faded away. 

I thank My Right Heart, 

For the hope and love she has given me, 

When my parents could not. 

Thank you for the unwavering support and care, 

You have shown me in my darkest hours. 

You have been a parent, a sister, a best friend, 

I cherish you for all that you are to me. 

I know I promised not to give up, 

But the journey is far from easy. 

My heart is heavy with pain, 

I no longer recognize myself as I walk. 

My tears have vanished, 

My silence has become my companion, 

And pain, my closest confidant.