Fixated

I am fixated, addicted

I can’t function or focus

Without a daily happy fix

I am fixated, definitely addicted

To the happy feeling that I feel every time

I do something forbidden, that goes against the norm

Something that I’m told is wrong

I’m told that it’s bad, yet it feels so good

Perhaps it’s the good feeling that it comes with

The almost-drunk, lucid state I’m in

That feeling of pleasure that I didn’t earn

The chemical that my brain always craves for

Perhaps it’s what keeps me going

It’s what motivates me to keep breathing

Making some of these things in life, a little bearable

Before it leads to my destruction