once upon a time death was afar

it was like a mosquito I could swat away

then it came closer

I began to see it as something much bigger

the inevitable as they say

and it certainly seemed to never go away 

it seemed to know all those I knew and came to take them all away from me

the very first attack I easily forgot

I was not fazed at all

the second time it struck twice at the same place

it brought storms and aftershocks with it

two people who held the family together were suddenly gone

chaos thrived, tears flowed, anger boiled

it took too long to recover…

by the time I thought I held my ground another faded away

someone I shared memories with

someone among my very first true friends

someone I ate bread with

a friend who I used to chase tennis balls with in our innocent years had suddenly disappeared right in front of my eyes

I don’t think I ever really grasped it

a while after I lost someone who raised me 

a strong man who was my shield 

he seemed so foreign in his last days

…so distant…

but a promise I made to myself is that I’ll remember all these people as my pillars, as parts of me 

I may never recover as death will always be present & watching …and there’ll be more who’ll follow

…but they were here and I was able to share this lifetime with everyone single one of them with absolutely no regrets.