Before I was raped
I always had one idea of how rape happens
Every time I hear the victim’s story
I wondered how it happened and how she felt
But it didn’t happen how I thought
There isn’t just one way of how rape happens
Sometimes it’s obviously rape
Sometimes the victim isn’t sure
Other times the victim doesn’t remember

When I was raped,
I wasn’t sure it was rape
I wasn’t sure of what really happened
I was drunk, passed out
I woke up being told I consented to sex
I woke up next to the perpetrator

I was confused
I didn’t want it to be rape
I wanted to believe him
But it was rape
It was rape and I can’t run away from it

It could have happened to me any other day
It could have happened any other way
But that day
That night,
It happened because of me.
It happened because I got drunk and lost control
It happened because I fell easy prey
It happened because I was vulnerable
It breaks me even more because
Because I feel, I strongly feel
Like I was raped because of me.