It seems like the world is happier without me,
All the chants on it, with no recognition of my voice.
The beauty of it with no sign of my face.
Decisions without the input of my words

I sit around and stare…
Stare at people gathering,
They are laughing, smiling and look happier together.
Confused I am because people go way past pretending,
Smile on their faces, poison on their tongues and dark thoughts on their minds
Being alone currently brings peace of mind.
But I am not one of the kinds.

Dark days are kind of days I know more about
I would not know as it may be because of the color of my skin or what.
But they visit me more than I would blink in a day,
And I get to ask myself that,
Do better days really exist, or they are just mythical.

I cannot even remember the last time I smiled,
Or even laughed, as sense of humor is foreign in here,
Even the pronunciation of it is forbidden,
As appreciation is not apprehended,
And to the ground my soul has descended.

I know they say ‘YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE’
But what to do if that once is not worth it anymore,
And what eat me to the core is that,
That once is so fast to the good people and delayed to the bad.
Soon to the little ones, and far to the worst
Little ones with bright future-mindedness
Now I do not know if this once is really madness or what.
But surely it is not related to kindness.

You can blame me for my sadness, and I would not argue you,
Because this love we claim we have is inevitable
Claiming we are invincible in it.
But at the end of the day there I am
Right at my desk pouring ink to this paper.

And yes, it is my escape from the world that disowned me,
Instead of admitting we are not good enough,
We just pretend…
We pretend everything is fine but deep….
Deep in our hearts we are filled with scars,
Scars beyond repairs.

Even if they were to be repaired who can repair those scars,
If the ones who made them were trying to heal from theirs
I guess you got to carry on the web.
And this to the sad generation,
Everything is possible with self-determination!

How can we determine our self-being even if…?
Even if we are not familiar with ourselves in any positive sense.
Even if we are used to our dark sides.
Dark sides that no one has an idea of
Sides no one would ever want to experience.

If I am the only one suffering from this feeling,
I deserve a huge round of applause,
Because I have been the only one
And the only one of this kind.
And of course, a new tribe of myself has rose.