Church

Mrs. Yoliyoli and her fellow choir members are practicing.

[Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh!]

Loud footsteps.

It’s Ngongozani cruising in suddenly.

NGONGOZANI: Mom! Dad said he knows that you wore his underwear, so you must give it back because he wants to wear it to work!

CHOIR WOMEN: Mhmmmmmmm.

CHOIR MISTRESS: (low voice) Jeez.

Silence.

All eyes on Mrs. Yoliyoli.

MRS. YOLIYOLI: (looking at Ngongozani like trash) Okay my son, go outside, I’m coming.

Ngongozani walks out.

MRS.YOLIYOLI: (smiles at the women shamefully and walks backwards towards the exit)

Outside

Surprisingly, Ngongozani is at the top of a mango tree.

MRS.YOLIYOLI: (gesturing with her hand) Come down.

NGONGOZANI: I can’t… I know you want to beat me.

MRS.YOLIYOLI: That means you know that you embarrassed me in front of my fellow choir members, right?

NGONGOZANI: How did I embarrass you, mom?

MRS. YOLIYOLI: You said something stupid in there.

NGONGOZANI: Something like what?

MRS.YOLIYOLI: (scratches her cheek) Hmm, I’ve forgotten it, can you remind me?

NGONGOZANI: That you wore my dad’s underwear?

MRS.YOLIYOLI: Not that.

NGONGOZANI: That you must give him his underwear back?

MRS.YOLIYOLI: Not that.

NGONGOZANI: So what then?

MRS.YOLIYOLI: I don’t know, but you embarrassed me in there.

NGONGOZANI: Huh?

MRS.YOLIYOLI: (points her finger up at Ngongozani) You’re a disgraceful child… guess what… I’ll abort your pregnancy.

NGONGOZANI: What do you mean?

MRS. YOLIYOLI: I’ll go to the hospital to abort you.

NGONGOZANI: What? I thought I was already born? Like seriously, what’s going on, mom?

MRS.YOLIYOLI: I don’t care if you think you’re wiser than me. That’s my final decision, I’ll abort you.

NGONGOZANI: Okay, do whatever you want but are you giving back my dad’s underwear or not?

MRS.YOLIYOLI: Forget about it, you fool. I agreed with him that I would be wearing it this whole week.

NGONGOZANI: Oho (his fingers picking at his nose).

MRS.YOLIYOLI: (looks up at a yellow mango near Ngongozani in the tree) What a beautiful mango!

NGONGOZANI: (climbs down instantly to look at it too) Wow.

MRS. YOLIYOLI: Go back to check it for me if it is ripe!

Ngongozani climbs back into the tree and examines the mango with his fingers.

Climbs down.

NGONGOZANI: Mom, it’s ripe. Should I go pluck it for you?

MRS.YOLIYOLI: No, relax boy (climbing the tree).

NGONGOZANI: (looks up)

MRS. YOLIYOLI: Don’t look at my skirt, you fool!

NGONGOZANI: Oho (looks away).

Mrs. Yoliyoli plucks the mango and climbs down.

[Thwaack!]

She slaps Ngongozani out of nowhere.

NGONGOZANI: Aw! (holds his forehead). Mom, why slapping me?

MRS.YOLIYOLI: I don’t know, I just felt like I should slap you for some reasons (walking back into the church while biting the mango).