Have you ever felt like you’re not okay but you don’t actually know what’s making you not to be okay?

Have you ever felt like there is just something that you are doing wrong but you just don’t know what it is and with that being being said you just can’t make things right. I need to know what I’m doing wrong in order to do better. I need to know if I’m being too much so that I can slow down.

Maybe I am demaged goods already and that’s why I am not much trusting. Maybe I don’t see myself that much attractive or lovable. It’s really hard for me to believe it when he tells me that he loves me. Maybe I’m just overacting and non of this is really necessary but I have to say this… is it a coincidence that every time I accidentally land my eyes on his phone all I see is pictures of girls? but then again a thought crosses my mind. The thought that says ” It’s his phone Lissa. He bought it with his own money . He doesn’t owe you anything. Afterall he’s a guy and he is bound to be attracted to girls even if they are not you.”  But then again Why is it that when I sometimes come close to him while he’s on his phone he immediately turns off the screen. ? Other than that he’s been good to me. His been the perfect gentleman. 

Honestly I never really thought that we would last this long. Maybe I am really overreacting but how do I stop. From what I’ve learnt jealousy is unattractive. I don’t want to be the jealous girlfriend but how do I stop. So the plan is to be very scarce.

I’ve reserved that I’ve made myself too available for him and that ends today. I really hope that by doing this I won’t be pushing him away from me. I am not sure if this is a good idea but I need to know if he still needs me in his life.

I need him to reach out to me . It’s important. I need to know if he still loves me. He needs to understand that I love him but I can still live without him. I don’t want him to feel like he is trapped or that he is with me because he owes it to me to stay. No, I love him too much to let him suffer like that.