She stops me in the street, unsure of asking. She quickly stares at her watch, pressured by the ticking of her finances. Out of mere courtesy, she abruptly asks, “How are you doing?” with concern marking her facial expression. One question that usually requires one simple answer, right? As I attempt to reply to such a simple inquiry, my speech is silenced by sometimes the most powerful, dangerous and destructive organ in the body; The mind.

“Should I tell her I’m unwell, Most of my days are spent crying, my body aches, I’m in mourning, getting out of bed every day is a challenge, I don’t have an appetite, I cannot find the courage to write, I don’t know if I can surpass this loss, my heart is sore…I don’t know who I am anymore BUT nevermind.”

I swiftly silence the intruding thoughts that hinder my brain with one universal phrase. A phrase that breaks all language barriers, barriers of confusion and misunderstanding. A phrase that clears everything up and one that will end this burdensome conversation: I let out one huge smile and reply, “Nevermind, I’m fine.” I lie to her, myself and the world. I lie to pacify myself, but unfortunately it has no effect on my current negative mindset.

“Why are you lying?” my mind taunts my tongue. She hurriedly smiles back in satisfied that this conversation is done and that I didn’t keep her busy for much longer, she carries on with whatever I withheld her from doing. With one simple white lie, “I’m fine,” the world continued as per normal. The truth is, I’m not fine, but maybe one day, my mind will take heed and abide by my tongue, but for now, if anyone asks, “Nevermind, I’m fine.”