My name is Thando Mchunu. I am a writer and a poet and a lesbian. I like to read a lot even though people say I am a bookworm.
When I was in grade 5 I had these strange feelings for girls and I would feel much attracted to them. I was confused a lot and the problem was that no one has educated me about these things because I was staying with my big sis and I was scared to ask her. So I was confused because I didn’t know such things as gays, lesbians, and bisexuals, but in luck, a new girl named Simtholile came and schooled with us. What was confusing is the way she dressed and walked, it was all tomboyish.
Later on, she asked to be my friend and I agreed. She would compliment girls’ booties and boobs and their lips and stuff. I would look at her shocked because she was a girl and she wasn’t allowed to love other girls so one day I confronted her and asked about her sexuality. She told me she was a lesbian and told me I am too. I denied it because I believed these things were demonic things and she stated that she would catch me looking at a girl’s bums and stuff and still denied dismally but I knew I did that and I was embarrassed about it. I said the devil was working on her soul and she needed prayer. She burst out laughing and she said she was also like that, she stated “In denial of my feelings and sexuality. I started distancing myself from her.
In grade 6 a new girl was in our class and I liked her so much that I would be jealous when she spoke with other girls. One day she came and confessed her love for me and I was super happy but I was in denial of my feelings and convinced myself that I was straight I said no and she was sad and that broke my heart to a million pieces.
Then one day I was representing my school for a spelling bee in some school and I won and guess what. My role model Thando fuze arrived as a guest judge and she performed her poem she was so inspiring and her presence gave me courage and confidence about my sexuality and you would see that she was proud of herself and she lived her life to the fullest and didn’t care who judged her. I got my inspiration and looked deep into my soul as she talked about accepting your inner self and I found that I am a lesbian and I need to accept myself for people to accept me. I decided to tell my parents this matter and to my surprise they accepted me. That boosted my self-confidence around people.
In my community, people will judge me and throw insults but I blocked all their negativity and stayed positive. After a few months, I joined an LGBTQI+ group campaign on WhatsApp and found people my age who were in my shoes who even suffered from anxiety, depression, and even thinks of suicide because of their parents disowning them and people judging them. I realized that Thando Fuze and people from the LGBTQI campaign helped me a lot in understanding my sexuality and life. And now I can walk free in the community as my true self and no one is going to get me down
TO THE RAINBOW NATION