Today is Friday and I am on my way to my hometown called Stanger. I’m going to attend a funeral. I couldn’t believe it when my sister Pamela told me the news. Oh, Sandile! I remember the first day I met him. He was so kind and gentle. His eyes, voice and physique made me fall in love with him instantly. I had just got out of a relationship when I met him and I felt I wasn’t ready to start a new one. That didn’t happen though because Sandile was madly in love with me and couldn’t wait any longer. He took me out on a date, bought me a nice red dress and told me he will always treat me like a queen because I was special to him. That made me very happy. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. After a month, I decided to introduce him to my mom and my sisters; Pamela and Fezile. He bought them gifts and they liked him right there and then. 

I was working as a bank teller and Sandile was a security guard. He was also a part time cab driver. After a while he asked me to move in with him and I was skeptical at first but I loved him so much that I gladly packed my things and went to live with him. He was very romantic and told me one day he’ll marry me and I will be the mother of his children. Usually, he would take me to work and fetch me; but sometimes I’d have to use a taxi when he was working. One Saturday, a colleague of mine who was also my friend, had a birthday and asked some of us at work to join her for a small birthday party at a restaurant. I called Sandile to let him know I won’t be back home early that day and that I will buy dinner. I couldn’t get hold of him and so I sent him a text on WhatsApp. 

The party wasn’t that long and so after two hours I was on my way home. I got home and found Sandile smoking outside the house. “Where have you been? Why are you home this late?”; he yelled at me. I told him where I was and that I sent him a message because I couldn’t reach him. He put out his cigarette, grabbed my arm and twisted it so painfully. “Look woman, I am not a fool! Don’t think you’re going to disrespect me in my own house. You don’t go to any party without my permission. Is that clear?”; he said to me as he was hurting my arm. I immediately apologised so that he could stop. We went inside the house and I prepared dinner. He did not eat.

***

I had many thoughts in my mind after that incident. Should I be worried? Am I in trouble? Do I need to do something or tell anyone? I brushed it off and told myself it’ll never happen again. After all, he did apologise. Time went by and I was very happy with Sandile. One day, we went over to his friend’s house for a braai. A lot of his friends were there along with their girlfriends. I’m not really into alcohol but that day I think I did have one or two drinks. We danced and had so much fun. We then went back home at around 8pm. Sandile was very drunk and so I asked him if he would like to take a shower first before going to bed. “I saw how you were making eyes at my friend Thabiso at the party. Do you really think I’m stupid?”, he shouted. I told him he’s being silly and went to the bathroom to prepare a bath for him. He grabbed me by the hair and slapped me across the face. “Your disrespect is getting out of hand and I’m not going to tolerate that.”; he said as he went straight to bed. I took a blanket and slept on the couch. I cried the whole night. 

The next day at work I told my friend Zandi after she noticed a bruise on my face. She was shocked when I told her what happened. She did not see Sandile as the kind of man that would hurt a woman. I told her it was the first time this happened and he apologised first thing the next morning. He was just drunk and couldn’t control himself. “Alright, but let’s hope it never happens again.”; said Zandi. 

I went back home and found that Sandile had prepared dinner. It was quite a surprise because he had never cooked dinner before. We enjoyed the meal and he apologised again. He told me he still wants me to be the mother of his children and that he can’t imagine a future without me. He was so sweet. We finished dinner and made love. It was a wonderful night. 

***

I was at work when my sister called me and told me mom was not feeling well. I asked my manager if I could go home and check on her. I was so worried because she’s had a heart attack before that really scared us. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to my mom and so I took a taxi and went home. I got home and found that she was feeling much better. I decided to stay and cook for her. I cooked her favourite meal; bean curry and steamed bread. She was very happy. I also took some of the food for myself and Sandile. I left at around 5pm. I got home and found that Sandile was back. I told him about my mom and as I was talking, he punched me and I fell onto the floor. He kicked me repeatedly. All the while shouting that I am making him a fool and I’m seeing other men behind his back. I tried to explain but he was so angry and didn’t want to listen to anything I said. 

He left me on the floor, went to his car and drove away. I laid there crying. My whole body was in terrible pain. After a while, I forced myself up and went to change my clothes. I don’t know when he came back because after that I fell asleep. The next morning, he made me breakfast and asked me not to go to work because I wasn’t looking good and people might get the wrong idea. “Thandeka I love you so much that I can’t bear to lose you. When you do these things, I just get so mad that I lose control. I need you to understand that I don’t mean to hurt you but I am a man and I deserve respect. I hit you because I love you and I care about you. I promise this will not happen again if you behave.”; he said as he kissed me on the forehead. I finished my breakfast and he helped me take a bath as my body was still in pain. He seemed remorseful and cared for me very well. I couldn’t go to work for three days. The following week when I went back to work my body had healed but I still had a black eye that I covered with some make up and sunglasses. Zandi noticed again. I begged her not to tell anyone and that Sandile assured me it will never happen again. 

***

Unfortunately, it did happen again. I got used to him slapping me and punching me. One day I told him I’m done with him and I’m leaving. He laughed at me and told me no woman dumps him. I tried to escape while he was at work and went back home. He came for me at my mom’s place, grabbed me by the arm right in front of my mother and my sisters. He told them there’s nothing they can do to him and they better stay out of it if they don’t want any more trouble. I felt so helpless. Just like that, I was back at his house. I was so frustrated that I began to lose weight. 

One day as I was walking around town, I saw Sandile’s car parked by the road and I noticed he was with a woman inside. I got close and saw that they were actually kissing. I knocked on the window and to my surprise; the woman he was kissing was my very own friend Zandi. I got so mad that I went to the house, packed my bags and went home. “Are you sure he’s not going to come looking for you? I’m so scared.”; said my younger sister Fezile. I told her if he dares to come, we will call the police. 

Luckily, almost a month passed and he never came for me. I felt so uncomfortable at work because I was still seeing Zandi every day and I heard that she moved in with Sandile. I decided to look for a job somewhere far from my hometown to avoid running across them in town. After a couple of weeks, I found a job in Johannesburg and I relocated as soon as I could. 

***

After some months, my sister Pamela called me and told me Zandi and Sandile were engaged. I thought to myself maybe he had changed and that was good for Zandi. However, just a mention of his name still made me nervous and I realised that I was still afraid of him. I had moved on and he was far away from me but I still cried when I thought about all the things I went through when I was with him. The pain he caused me while claiming he loved me. I know now it was never love and I’m glad I got away from him. 

After a week or two my sister called me again and told me the horrible news. That is why I am on my way to the funeral. Zandi’s body was found stabbed five times in Sandile’s house and Sandile was nowhere to be found. The police are still looking for him. 

Zandi and I were friends for a long time and we never got a chance to forgive each other. This could have happened to me. There’s nothing that she could have done for her to deserve to die like this. That’s why I am on my way to her funeral to say goodbye to my friend. 

***

Sandile was captured four weeks after Zandi’s funeral, living with his new girlfriend Thandazile in Newcastle. He is currently in jail awaiting trial. 

THE END…