Black women are reportedly the last to consider dating and marrying out of their race. I think it is because of holding on to the ideal of “black love”. That ideal is noble because for a long time, black families were disrupted from being healthy by the system of apartheid. I too dream of my Barack Obama. That guy who has worked on himself and gives me the opportunity to be the Michelle of his life.

Is it okay though that given the opportunity, black men opt for women of other races? We all know the preference they hold for other women but remain in denial. I think it is okay. We live in a multiracial and cultural society. Everyone should date who they love. Why the racial loyalty from black women?

I was sad to read a poll that asked men who they are most attracted to. Only 7% were into black women. I intuit if a similar poll asked how many black women would consider dating out of their race, the results would also be dismal.

For inspiration, I look up videos of black women married to Asians. You will see a variety of women in Saris living their best lives.

Travel outside. Go teach in Korea. Live in Hong Kong. There are men willing to love black women but it takes seeing your worth. Often times we are only seen as baby mommas and angry women. There is a softer us that deserves more.

You can start with dating outside your tribe and you will see the shift. Get off the plantation of dating only your race.