I am officially an idiot, the biggest idiot ever, if not the only one. Okay, it’s been a few months since I finally managed to leave my toxic relationship of seven years, and in those months, I’ve met an impeccable gentleman, who’s fallen madly in love with me, he’s fascinated with me so much that at first it was enticing to have a man worship me as he does, something I hadn’t experienced for a while but then again, I’m feeling suffocated and bored at how clingy he’s become. It hasn’t been that long since we started seeing each other, and he’s already planning our wedding, kids and everything.

Me being afraid and feeling overwhelmed, I decided to put a pause on things and focus on myself, my healing and learning to be civilised with my ex-baby daddy. The ex and I start to communicate, and in the midst of whatever madness I find myself being drawn to him again, only that this time it’s sexual I’ve got no desire for a relationship or to be inlove with him again but my body yearns for his and we agree to become friends with benefits.

At first things go smoothly and I actually enjoy being his sneaky link, we get intimate, cuddle and share things like we used to do, keeping in mind that there are no romantic feelings between us . Until one day he makes a promise to come see me but doesn’t keep it, it becomes so heated that the argument is huge and I tell him not to call anymore, as soon as I hung up I’ve got this feeling of sadness within me that I’m not supposed to feel for someone I don’t have feelings for, later during the day he calls and asks why am I mad? Since we are friends- it’s not like we’re dating.

From that exact moment I realised that I had caught feelings again… Damnnnnn

Can we avoid catching feelings, let me know?