Behind this smile of mine there’s blood shed, there is lack of illumination, there is no proximity of peace, there’s pain, there are tears, there’s self isolation and depression & anxiety. Thing is people expect me to be okay even after I tell you guys that I’m going through alot I’m tired of crying i thought this GBV was gonna end. Each and every single day im faced with body shaming if not emotionally being bullied if not that then everything is physical.

Why should I go out and look for love when you family can give me sufficient love. It’s even harder to remain home because I’m abused by my own family, I’m abused by s member who’s suppose to protect me but instead he beats me up. He lowers my esteem each and every single day he says its better to be ugly when you are a guy but when you are a girl it becomes much worse. You know everyone wherever I go tells me I’m beautiful but because i stay with him in this house, he always emphasizes my BEAUTY AND BEAUTIFUL BODY CONSTRAINTS. He always tells me no one is gonna date a person like you , you are not even beautiful”, i mean who would want you?”. So right now I’m literally on the verge of suicide because what is it that I’m suppose to live for. I’m sharing this with you my fundza fans because I’m tired so when you don’t receive publications on my side then just know SHE’S GONE.

THANKS FOR SUPPORT AND LOVE THAT YOU GUYS SHOWED ME BY READING MY WRITINGS and also saying something posetive about me. I know you all don’t know me and i hold absolutely no sentimental value in your lives but abuse hurts and please identify it early and run , don’t let it consume you like it did to me.

My name is THOLO NOKUBONGA ND I’M SIXTEEN YEARS OF AGE IN GRADE 11 AND I WAS HERE.

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If you are feeling depressed or suicidal, please know that there is help out there and you can get better. Reach out to SADAG counselling 0800 567 567 (toll-free counselling between 8am and 8pm) or their   Suicide Crisis Line: 0800 567 567. You are not alone.