These past couple of weeks have been tough for me. I find myself struggling to handle even the tiniest of situations, requiring more energy than usual for day-to-day activities. Some days, I couldn’t even get my primary chores done, and I feel like I’m losing touch with the present, as if I’m watching myself drift away. Retaking some decisions felt difficult, making me question if I’ve failed, perhaps to myself.

Despite this internal struggle, I’ve tried to show up, engaging in fun activities and being present even for brief moments. I’m sharing all of this for a few reasons: writing is my way of coping, this page serves as a safe space for me, and I want someone out there to feel less alone.

Here I am, typing this at 1:50am because my brain won’t quiet down. One thing I want both you and me to remember: You are not a failure. Feeling like you’re starting from zero doesn’t mean it’s true—feelings aren’t always accurate. It’s okay to start again, so don’t be too hard on yourself; you are doing the best you can. But most importantly, be graceful to yourself. You need it the most here.

If you are feeling depressed or suicidal, please know that there is help out there and you can get better. Reach out to SADAG counselling 0800 567 567 (toll-free counselling between 8am and 8pm) or their   Suicide Crisis Line: 0800 567 567. You are not alone.