When I was eighteen years old, in 2011, I knew my time had come and I had to talk to those adults I trusted most at HOKISA -to our youth leader, Ta Simpra and to one of our directors, Doc Lutz.

“Please, can you help me to travel to my father who was last seen in Blikkiesdorp… and also to another auntie in Gugulethu? I want to do the ritual like the other boys to become a man as it is part of our culture.”

Indeed, they did not disappoint me. They gave me the transport money and only suggested that I should do it while it was still school holidays so as not to miss school. It was agreed that I should write down everything that would be needed and that we would sit together after my return.

I first travelled to my auntie and her family. She had taken in two other, much younger children of my father, my half-brother Andile and my even younger half-sister Noma. Makazi, my auntie, was very supportive and said.“Your plan is good. The family of your father, most of them living in Khayelitsha, must come together and we must first start with the ritual of imbeleko before anything else.”

Imbeleko is the way to connect with your ancestors and inform them that a new man is ready to join the family and the clan soon. It is also important to find an ingcibi, a circumcision expert, who is recognized by the health department to practice the cutting of the foreskin of your penis. Each year boys, mainly in rural areas, die after circumcision because it is done by unprofessional guys who just take money but do not care for hygiene and the health of the boys.

From my auntie’s I took a train and taxi to Blikkiesdorp. I was so happy that I found my father on that first trip, although I saw that his health was not good. He was staying alone in his little house. There was not much food but lots of bottles of booze. When I told him about my plan, he was kinder than ever. “Ewe, njana – yes, my son, you are mature now. I will do my best to support you. I will not be able to pay much, but I will be there when you do the imbeleko and I will be there when you go to the bush somewhere not too far from Khayelitsha.”

I returned so excited to HOKISA to tell them everything. Actually, I could hardly wait any longer and would have loved to do everything already in the next winter school holidays in July 2011, but Ta Simpra and Doc Lutz convinced me that it was better to wait until the end of the school year when we had the long and warm summer holidays in December. This is also when most of the other boys of my age planned to go to the mountain or the bush.

During the coming months we found an ingcibi with a certificate from the health department, and we had a long meeting with members of my father’s family and with Ta Simpra and Doc Lutz. Both were recognized as my present family in Masiphumelele. On this day my auntie had prepared food for all of us and the men brought beer and cool drinks. Without HOKISA, I would not have been able to pay the ingcibi and all other costs like new clothing and two blankets. I knew that I would also need cash money later to buy a goat for the ritual. I was so grateful and started counting the nights until December.