When scrolling through social media, I noticed how people would speak about their love language in relation to their partner, and I was curious as to what these love languages entail. Love languages refer to how you express and receive love from a partner. However, it can also refer to how you express and receive love in friendships or with family. Gary Chapman, an author and counsellor, created these five languages.

What are the five love languages?

Word of affirmation – This is how you express affection through words or praise. If this is your love language, you enjoy cute messages, quotes, and encouraging words.
Quality time – This means that a person wants your undivided attention with no distractions, such as not being on the phone when you are in the person’s company and listening attentively when the person is talking.

Physical touch – A person whose love language is physical touch feels love through physical affection. This doesn’t only mean sex, but handholding, hugs, cuddling, etc.

Acts of service – These are things that you may do for your partner, like helping with chores or running errands.

Receiving gifts – A person whose love language is receiving gifts feels love through receiving gifts. It’s not only about the gift but the time and effort gone into thinking about the gift.

You would be able to identify your language by knowing which love language resonates with you the most. It is also possible that your partner’s love language might not be the same as yours, and that is okay.

Personal Take
Although I do agree with the love languages, I do think it’s too theoretical and feels like it’s placed in a box. Relationships are far too complex for five languages, and I feel, from experience, that all five languages apply to my relationship.

For instance, I’m always sending and receiving kind words of affirmation. I always spend quality time with my partner; we often hold hands and hug each other constantly. We always help with chores together and run errands for each other when the need arises, and we love giving and receiving gifts. My boyfriend and I clearly express and receive in all five love languages, and that’s how my relationship works. We don’t tend to think of what we’re doing as love languages; we see what our partner needs at the moment.

Final Word

I believe that all love languages are important, and one is not more important than the other. Once you get to know your partner, you will pick on what they need, love or enjoy, and you can figure it out from there. I don’t think you need to emphasise what your love language is because your partner would be able to tell. But anyway, at least the concept gives you a range of ways to express your love – and perhaps you could even surprise your partner and try a ‘love language’ that you haven’t often used before.

***
Tell us: What love language speaks to you?

Read more here on love languages.