Not everyone needs therapy

I was watching a YouTube video, and a group of girlfriends had to select a guy they thought would be a perfect date for their friend. It was quite a simple idea, because sometimes we do tend to ask our friends for advice on dating tips. But there’s one thing stood out for me. A guy said he didn’t attend therapy, and that turned out to be a red flag because, according to them, “Everyone needs therapy”.

I was shocked by this concept that everyone needs therapy because I thought quite the opposite. Not everyone needs therapy. There are other healthy outlets we can use to cope with the everyday stressors of life. Things like taking a walk, painting, dancing, singing, etc. Yes, therapy is very important when it comes to undealt with trauma or when you are dealing with depression, anxiety or any mental health disorder, but not everyone needs it to that extent.

A few years back, I went through a trauma of my own. I was very shaken up by what happened and really anxious for a few weeks after that, and my parents thought it would be good if I went to see a counsellor. I was really nervous at first, you know, to share my experience with a complete stranger but by the end of the session, I was really glad that I went because I got insight into how I could deal with things. However, the counsellor said that she felt that I didn’t need to come back because I was coping with what happened really well. I was taking it in my stride, still thinking about my future and how I would plan towards a happy life. She was very pleased with my approach.

How I coped with my trauma:

Talk about it – What really worked for me was actually talking about what happened and sharing it with my family and friends. Up until this day, I still sometimes think about it, but because I wasn’t physically harmed by the situation so it’s not very often. This would not be the same for everyone, but talking about it always helps.

Try new things – At this point in my life I was still in university, so I poured all my time into my university assignments, and I was really thinking about moving abroad to teach English since this was my lifelong dream. I even started learning Turkish because I wanted to go to Turkey. (That’s on hold for now.)

Be honest with yourself – Some days were better than others, so when I was feeling down, I would recognise those feelings and try to be kinder to myself and remind myself that I’ll be okay. And I am okay.

So I don’t believe that everyone needs therapy or counselling. If you’ve been through a dark time in your life where you feel like you’re drowning, and you have no one to lean on then maybe therapy is for you. Counsellors, who are trained professionals, can also give you the necessary tools you need, for instance, when you have a panic attack or a coping mechanism to heal from anxiety or depression. Therapists can help with more deep-seated issues or challenges.

But these visits can be quite expensive, and why go when you’re just having a rough day or a few rough days that you could possibly get over on your own? Humans are resilient and can go through a lot when it comes down to it, and it may be that you don’t need professional help.

However, it’s vital to also be brave enough to admit and say, “You know what, I’m not doing okay. Maybe I should speak to someone.” It’s certainly not a failure or a weakness.

But let’s not hold it against people who don’t feel like they need therapy – they may still may be eligible partners, like the guy on Youtube!

***

Tell us: How do you deal with emotional stressors of life or trauma that may have happened to you?