HOW TO HAVE A BEARABLE BREAK-UP
Acknowledge your feelings
This allows you to deal with them and let them go. Anger, confusion, helplessness, mistrust: these emotions will come, even if you parted on good terms. Ask ‘What am I feeling and what’s making me feel this way?’
Talk about it
Talk to a friend or family member, or seek a counsellor if necessary. Be very selective. Choose someone you trust, who will be objective.
Take time to heal
You need a period of mourning after a break-up. You can’t rush it. A break-up tips your balance, so allow yourself time to reset it. You’ll need to re-establish your roles, your network of friends and your sense of belonging.
Avoid negative environments
This might mean people (even well-meaning family and friends) who feed you negative thoughts or run down your ex.
Give each other space
Be sensitive: don’t, for instance, drop by your ex’s house at times not agreed upon.
Don’t force the situation
Ideally, both parties agree that they want an amicable break-up, but it can’t be imposed by one person on the other.
Wake up to the resources around you
Ask for help from friends and family.