20 WAYS TO GET READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP

1. Be honest with yourself

Don’t be embarrassed about wanting a relationship. The search for love is an honourable, age-old quest, and admitting you’d like to meet someone doesn’t mean you’re desperate. It means you’re mature enough to know what you want.

2. Be honest with others

Don’t be too proud to advertise your single-and-looking status. Tell your friends you’re serious about meeting someone, and ask them to connect you with any potential dates.

3. Get yourself into the right head space

Until you know who you are, what makes you happy, and what you’re ultimately looking for in a relationship, finding a gem will be a hit-and-miss affair.

4. Define what you want

Keep a rough guide of what you’re looking for in the back of your mind as a sort of road map, to steer you gently in the desired direction. Decide which qualities you feel are most important in a partner, which qualities you’re not prepared to compromise on, and which ones you are. Just keep an open mind and don’t be too prescriptive. Writing a list helps but don’t stick to it rigidly or insist on perfection.

5. Get out there

You won’t meet a partner sitting at home or endlessly flirting online. For a month, accept all invitations. Say yes more than you say no. The wider your network, the more chance you’ll have of meeting people and tapping into different social circles. Go places you normally wouldn’t. Talk to new people. Consider Internet dating sites, but don’t spend all day emailing suitors just because it’s easy; though live interaction is scarier, it’s essential for getting to know people, so meet up in person early on. As for clubs and pubs, they’re fine if you’re only after a hook-up. You’re more likely to find relationship material at singles’ parties organised by friends, or clubs and classes that reflect your interests.

6. Deal with your baggage

Do you attract people who treat you badly? Do you believe pain and drama are an inescapable part of romance? Analyse your most recent relationships (if applicable), focusing on which parts worked, which didn’t, and why the partnership broke down. If you notice common themes – say, a problem with trust, communication difficulties or possessiveness – consider talking it through with a psychologist. It’s important that you make peace with the past and move on. We attract people who mirror our personal levels of happiness, so the more emotionally sound you are, the better.

7. Believe you’re a nice person

Concentrate on your appealing qualities. If you’re feeling uninspired, ask your friends to point out your strengths – there have to be reasons why they like you!

8. Get excited about your life

When you’re enjoying your life and embracing new experiences, you automatically radiate an attractive lust for life. Focus on the sheer pleasure of being you. Make a habit of indulging in pastimes that help you see life in fresh ways.

9. Think like a man

Be braver, take chances, and shrug off life’s little setbacks. If you see someone who looks interesting, strike up a friendly conversation. Tell yourself you have nothing to lose – if a stranger can’t handle friendliness, he or she isn’t worth your time.

10. Stop being angry with the opposite sex

We’ve all been rejected, hurt and bitterly disappointed in the past. But it’s only once you’ve licked your wounds, learnt your lessons and, finally, lowered your defences that you’ll be able to let the good ones in.