I finished writing this book at the age of 84. I am a mother of six and a grandmother to twenty-two grandchildren. This story is about my life during the various stages of my growth. It is the story of the young Manse, the girl who had to grow up quickly, then fell in love and got married. It is a story of Mama, the wife and mother. It is the story of MaHlongwane, the community worker, and it is the story of Makhulu, the grandmother and matriarch of the Ngcaba family.

Completing this book was a very proud moment for me. I decided to write it for the perfectly human reason of pride in overcoming a challenge. I feel a deep sense of joy for having pushed myself to a place I have never been before.

I also wrote this book to make a small contribution to the existing body of written work that portrays the determination and resilience of the African spirit. I hope that those who read it will take what lessons they can from it, and use these in their own lives to build a life that is rewarding and fulfilling.

My desire has always been that I should live a meaningful and rewarding life, pursuing knowledge, creativity and self-expression while contributing to my community and humanity in general. This is why I have always been active in programmes for change, at first through my work as a nurse and my affiliation with the Young Women’s Christian Association, and in recent years through my childcare centre. Children are the future and helping them with their early learning and development has been my career of choice as Makhulu. I had to respond to the call that children were making to me.

The political transformation in 1994 brought with it tremendous shifts in the lives of our people. It brought freedom and an enabling political, social and economic environment. As a mother who took part in the fight for political change and had her own life – and those of her family members – severely affected, I knew I had to write this book as a way to examine our current society in the hopes that we can learn to be resilient, embrace the change and yet constantly affirm ourselves as a people.

The family is a sacred institution. It is an essential building block for a great nation. If there is no cohesion, if we lack the glue that holds family members together, it will be difficult to build strong families and a strong nation. We should do all we can to preserve it.

This book is also a gift to my grandchildren. I hope they will page through this book, look at the photographs and shriek with laughter at how old-fashioned everything seems. I also hope they will read my story and get a better perspective of how things used to be, and the role the mother plays in African society. If you cannot appreciate where you came from, you will not know how to envision your future.

My life has afforded me experiences that I think are similar to the life of a tree. If you can imagine a tall oak tree, with very deep roots, a powerful trunk and strong, yet flexible branches that produce colourful, appealing leaves, then you get a picture of who I am today. It is my hope that this book will encourage women to want to become like an oak tree as they take their partners’ hands in building their families and, in so doing, build a powerful nation.