I knew it.
I knew it.
I knew it.
I knew it.
They would never accept you for who you are. Nothing you do is ever good enough. You don’t mean to let people down all the time, it just happens. But you’ve done everything right though, Xolile. You’ve ticked the boxes, stop being hard on yourself, and just tell them the truth. They will accept it. They’ll accept you.
The truth? The truth? No, it isn’t husband material Thulani, or dreamy creamy Mac, or even famous cricketer TD. No mum and dad, brother, sister, it isn’t them.
I don’t know who it is. I got drunk okay. I got drunk, slept with a guy, and he was gone the next day.
Stupid, stupid Xolile. You had done everything right; you had ticked all the right boxes.
I didn’t even get his name. I tried to track him down, but no one at the bar seemed to remember him, but they all remembered me being really sloshed.
Yup, you are a disappointment. Dad won’t be proudly walking you down the aisle towards your long-term boyfriend. No incredible love story that your child will hear when they ask how you met their father. You didn’t mean to be a disappointment. Should you have gotten rid of the baby when you found out?
I considered it. I thought about this exact moment when I would tell you all what an embarrassment I am, but then I thought about being a mom, and well. I want to be a mom.
Yes, you want to have one place where you are fully accepted for who you are. You can’t be a disappointment. Or will you fail at that too? God, you never seem to do anything right. You’ll probably be a terrible mother. Xolile!
I am capable of positive self-talk. I am kind to myself. Breathe.
“Baby is pressing against my bladder. I need to go pee.”
Xolile stood up slowly, and warmly smiled at her family before walking to the front door, grabbing her car keys, and taking the five-hour trip back home.
Question: After spilling the beans, Xolile bolts. Ever felt like just running away from a tough situation at home? Would you have stuck around or hit the road like Xolile? Tell us why!