Okay, there is no getting out of this. But why are you so nervous? It’s your family for Pete’s sake; they’ll be happy for you. Who is Pete anyway, and why do we do everything for his sake? Mum’s always saying how much she wants a grandchild, so this is good news… just tell them.

Shit. Once I tell them, it’s no longer my secret good thing. And what if they’re disappointed in me?

Pregnancy news is meant to be good news for everyone right? You’ve seen all those videos. Happiness, Xolile. You are a 20-year-old executive woman. You have done nothing wrong!

“Mum, Dad, you’re going to be grandparents!” Xolile blurted, then braced for impact.

You should have done more preparation work. You should have run more scenarios of how to handle the different responses. You should have planned better how to manage your emotions. But here you are, just spitting the news out and waiting for people to react and direct your emotions. That’s how you have always been, so reactionary. Always waiting for people to make decisions for you. You should have planned better. This is your news. You should control the energy around it. Be proactive Xolile, and stop being a passenger in your own life. Xolile!

I am capable of positive self-talk. I am kind to myself. Breathe.

“Ah! Jesus be praised! What wonderful news. I am going to be a grandmother!”

“Xoli, oh my gosh! I’m an aunty, I’m gonna be an aunt, ooooh, I can already see the baby clothes I need to buy, XOLI!”

“Congratulations, Sis. Uncle suits me.”

Her family leaped from their seats and circled Xolile. A mixture of tears, praises to the Lord, hugs and kisses. But her father remained seated, staring at her from across the room. Xolile was sure her heart stopped as she searched his face for a response, then she saw it… a lone tear rolling down the side of his face. She had never seen her father cry, except the one time at his own mother’s funeral, which is quite justified. Xolile unexpectedly felt tears streaming down her cheeks.

****

See they are happy. Why did it take so long to tell them? You overthink everything Xoli.

Told you there was nothing to worry about. This is the happiest day of my life.

“We are going to have a baby, guys!” Xolile’s elated screams rang out through the room.

There were squeals of joy again, more tears, more hugs, but then… a sudden pause as her mother pushed her away mid-hug and held her at arm’s length.

“Do we know the dad-to-be?”

There it is.

So it begins, the judgment. Do we know the dad-to-be? Sure, it should matter who the father is, but you are the one with the baby inside her. Why can’t they just celebrate this?

“The father?” Xolile stammered.

You are the first in your family to get a degree, to be an executive. You’re successful and twenty years old! Why does the father matter?

“Have we met the father before?” her mother insisted.

Well, it felt like insisting to Xolile, but in reality, she was softly asking a reasonable question they all wanted an answer to. The family withdrew into their sofas and stared at Xolile, who suddenly felt as though she desperately needed to pee – and die.

“Oh, it must be that lovely fellow who sent me flowers on Mother’s Day last month. Thulani? There is something about him. I always knew he was husband material. You need to plan the wedding before the baby comes!”

“No mum, I think it’s Mac. She was dating Mac when we spoke two weeks ago. Hmm, with his light skin. You’ll have caramel babies!” her little sister gushed.

“No, no, when I was in Johannesburg last week, I saw Xolile out with her ex, that cricket player, TD something. You guys got back together right, Xoli?” her dad asked.

And they all leaned in, waiting for her answer.

Question: Xolile is super nervous about telling her family her big news. Ever had to drop a bombshell on your family? How did you handle it?