“You’re finally here,” TT said, rushing up to us at the lift. He gave me a cursory greeting but I think it was already agreed we didn’t care much for each other. “There’s some people I want you to meet.”

He pulled Xavier away from me and led him toward a table near the windows that looked out on a stunning view of the city. I followed behind them and felt very much out of place.

“Xavier, this is Tebby. I told you about her, remember?” TT said.

Tebby stood up in her slinky gold mini-dress. She took Xavier in her arms and kissed him on both cheeks. “I’ve so wanted to meet you. You’re even sexier in real life.”

TT introduced the other people at the table: Tebby’s manager (she, Tebby, was apparently “the next big thing” – at least according to him), a blonde woman with bright red lips who seemed to be with TT, and another couple who were, “X-man’s biggest fans”.

TT didn’t trouble to introduce me, but Xavier grabbed my hand and pulled me in front of him, his hands resting on my shoulders. “And this beautiful woman is my date, Lily.”
They nodded and smiled and shook my hand and for a moment I was convinced everything would be OK.

As the night went on, although the group was friendly enough, they talked mostly about the music business, so I had nothing to add. Xavier kept his arm around my shoulder the entire time, but I still felt out of place.

I excused myself and went to the toilet to get a break from it all, to re-organise my mind. At the restaurant things had been so lovely, I felt so close to him, but this was the reality of Xavier’s life. I reminded myself of that.

I came out of the toilet and stood for a minute looking at the fabulous view out of the window, trying to waste a bit more time before going back to the table. I was behind a huge potted palm tree so couldn’t be seen, but I could hear familiar voices on the other side of the tree. It was TT and Xavier.

“Why’d you bring this girl from the takeaway? It’s ruining everything,” TT said.

“I don’t want to do this now,” Xavier said.

“You and Tebby hooking up could be perfect for both of you. You need to be serious. I mean – I get it, this girl is a nice fling for Cape Town and all, but you can’t be serious about someone like that. She’s not even vaguely in your realm.”

“Stop it, OK?” Xavier said.

“OK, OK. But after you get to Joburg and get your head back in the game, you’ll agree with me. You and Tebby. That’s the way forward, man. You know I always know what’s best for you right? Right?”

“Yeah, OK. We’ll sort it all out when I get to Joburg.”

I stayed where I was a bit longer. I waited to be sure they’d gone back to the table. I felt sick. I wanted to leave then but I knew that would make it all worse. But luckily we left soon afterwards.

I was quiet on the way home. I guess I knew all along it was a temporary thing, Xavier and me, a short dream. I knew it was for the best. I had my life to live – school, work – it was enough. I had my No Man Policy. Xavier would have blown my whole life plan to bits. It was better this way.

Xavier pulled up in front of my house and turned to me. “Sorry about all that business talk at the club.”

“It’s fine. That’s your life, your friends. What else would you talk about?”

“So, I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“Yes, I know. Listen, I get this thing, Xavier. I understand; I’m not a fool. You don’t need to try to be diplomatic. It’s fine. I had three amazing days, thanks. You’re a great guy.”

I kissed him on the cheek and got out of the car. I heard him saying something I couldn’t quite hear, but I didn’t turn to ask. I just rushed inside and closed the door.

It was nothing, just a little fling with my heart. It was nothing – but I was surprised when I realised I was crying. I wasn’t someone who cried about nothing, but there I was. Crying my eyes out over nothing at all.

***

Tell us what you think: For Lily is it really ‘nothing’ as she says?