“Why didn’t you let me pick you up at the back?” Terrence asked just as two eggs hit the back window of his car. “Oh damn it!”

Shep turned around in the passenger seat and looked at the back window. “Sorry man.”

“Forget it.” Terrence looked his friend up and down. “You look good.”

“I had a lot of time in prison to work out.” Shep reached forward and patted Terrence’s prominent belly. “You must be living large,” he teased.

“You were always the fit one. I went from being the tiny nerd to the tall, gangly university student. Now this.” He patted his stomach. “Life’s not fair.”

“So where are you taking me?” Shep asked.

“I thought you could stay by me for a while, if that’s okay. Until you get sorted.”

“My mother assumed I’d be staying at home, you saved me. I expect Marla and the girls are there already waiting for me. I don’t think I’m up to all of that just yet- so thanks.”

“And Gerty and Corrine?”

“Corrine works uptown, I guess she’ll be there tonight. And Gerty got married, I thought you’d have heard.”

“Your little sister Gerty got married? To who? I always thought I had a chance there.”

Shep laughed, the first time since he’d got in the car. “No ways. You know Gerty, she married some independent filmmaker guy. They came by prison for a visit once. He asked a few questions. I think he wanted to do some documentary about the brutality of prison. I let him know pretty quickly I wasn’t interested in being part of it. He’s okay though and Gerty loves him.”

They drove a while in silence. Shep looked out the window at the world he’d known all his life passing by like it was something new. Everything was so sharp and clear, like he’d never been here before. He noticed and appreciated everything. He loved Chicago. Before prison he knew it was home, but now it was something more than that. It was part of who he was, it was part of his genes, his blood- he knew this now. He was Chicago. He saw one of their favourite hang-outs, Midnight Hour, up ahead. He looked at Terrence. “Any chance we could stop for a beer?” Shep asked.

“Are you kidding?” Terrence pulled over and parked the car. He got out, stopping to take a look at the already dried egg at the back.

“I’ll clean that for you,” Shep offered.

“Na, I got people.”

“You got people?” They both laughed. Shep turned toward the bar. “Thanks for this Terrence. It means a lot.”

Terrence smiled and opened the door for Shep to pass through. They stepped inside the darkness. Shep sat at a table near the back and Terrence went to the bar to get beers. He set one in front of Shep and sat down. “There you go man.”

Shep took a long drink. “God, that tastes good.” His face became serious. “To be honest, I was surprised when I got the message that you wanted to pick me up. I just assumed after everything we were done.”

Terrence stayed quiet and looked away then back again. “Maybe I made a mistake. I think I may have been quick to judge you. It wasn’t right, I’ve felt bad ever since. You’re my friend, god, you’re nearly my brother, I should have given you the benefit of the doubt.”

“What do you mean a mistake?” Shep asked.

“I don’t know. It’s just that PI, he just disappeared after the case. It was weird. He didn’t even come for his last payment.” Terrence shook his head as if to shake it all away. “I don’t know. It’s over okay? It’s just all over. I want things back to normal. I want to forget all of that. I missed you, man.”

“I missed you too. Thanks. ” Shep kept quiet. He didn’t want to talk about this now. He’d been going through every aspect of the case night and day for the last ten years. Yes, it was odd that the PI disappeared, but he didn’t want to think about it today. Today he just wanted to think about being out, being home. Being with the people he cared about.

“Anyway, it’s over. You’re free. Whatever happened it’s over. You need to get back into the game.” Terence motioned to the bartender to bring another round. “We need to get you back up on your feet.”

“Have you seen Dena?” Shep asked.

“Sure. They moved in with her dad after the accident. Back in the old neighbourhood.”

“They?” Shep asked.

Terrence took the beers from the bartender and gave him the money. “They? Did I say they? I meant she… She moved in with her dad. To help him out and everything. She did. You know I’ve stopped drinking, trying to lose some weight. This beer is going to me head.” Terrence laughed awkwardly.

“Mac told me about the car accident. That was too bad. You know he came and visited me a few times at the prison. He’s one of the good guys.”

“Car accident?” Terrence said.

“Sure, you don’t know? His leg is a mess, he even limps, walks with a cane. He said he had a car accident a few years back. Messed the leg up permanently. It’s terrible seeing a strong guy like that limping along with a cane.”

“No, that’s not right.” Terrence shook his head.

“What do you mean?” Shep was confused.

“He got shot. He was working over at First National Bank in security. Some crazy guy came in, shooting all over. He got shot in the leg. That leg bones were shattered. Still has some shrapnel in there Dena said. It’ll never come right again.”

“Why would he be working security? He’s retired.”

Terrence looked at Shep but said nothing. Then Shep remembered. Mac must have been working as a security guard because his pension money got stolen along with everyone else’s. He had to work because he was broke. “Does Dena still think it was me?”

“You know Dena. She’s a hard one. She likes her world black and white. I think you just need to move on from her. You really do man. I know a lot of nice women. Really nice, I’ll introduce you to some. I think it’s better to get that one out of your mind.”

They drank a few more beers and spoke about other things, but Shep was thinking about only one. He needed to see Dena. It meant things were even worse than he had thought. It meant that not only did she think he stole her father’s money along with everyone else’s, she likely thought he was to blame for stealing her father’s health. He needed to see her. He needed to speak to her face-to-face. He knew she wouldn’t take his calls. He’d tried to call her so many times when he was in prison. He’d need to go by the house.

“You know what, Terrence. Tonight I think I need to pass by my ma’s place. They’ll kill me if I don’t at least go around and see everybody. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow. Is that okay?”

“No problem. I completely understand.” Terrence handed him a card. “This is the address of the new place. I’m doing import and export. It’s going well. I can find a place for you in the business if you’re interested.”

Shep looked at the card, printed on quality paper, gold embossed. “Nice. I’m glad you’re doing okay Terrence. I really am. I’ll think about it.”

It was dark by the time they left the bar. Terrence dropped Shep outside his mother’s house on Milwaukee. Shep watched until the car was gone and then turned and headed back up the street. The wind had picked up and he pulled his coat tighter. The light was on at Mac Leary’s house. He could see someone sitting in the big picture widow at the front. He could see it was Dena. He stopped some distance back and watched her.

Her face looked so troubled, though, as if she carried the world on her shoulders. But she was just as beautiful as he remembered. He’d kept one photo of her in prison. A photo taken when they went to their high school prom together. After awhile he couldn’t quite remember the edges of Dena’s face as a woman, all he had was that young, teenage face. She’d been so uncertain about life then. Quiet and studious. Very serious about everything. She wanted to understand all sides of things in a way that was so unfamiliar to him. He took everything lightly, on face value. She took nothing like that. She thought the surface of things was always deceptive. The truth was underneath and she was always searching for it. Shep knew now that she’d been right and he’d been tragically wrong.

He watched the older version of Dena in the window, looking out at the maple tree losing its leaves in the yard, and his heart ached. He wanted to go to her. He wanted to take the worries that showed on her face and fix them one by one. But he knew tonight wasn’t the right time. Somehow he couldn’t do it tonight. Not the way she looked sitting there.

He pulled his jacket up around his neck and headed back to his mother’s house.

***

Tell us what you think: Do you think Shep should try to see Dena? What do you think will happen if he does?