Despite my unhappy emotional life, I enjoy my job very much. I work on cases involving mostly orphans and placing children in foster care. My job makes me feel like I am contributing positively to the world – but it also makes me think a lot about the baby I decided not to keep.

But the sadness has more to do with Moses though: I loved him and I still do, even though right now I hate to admit it. There has never been another love for me like what I shared with Moses.

On the outside I look like I have it all together, the ultimate independent woman. I dress well, have a car and a house, I always have my nails done and my hair is always up to date. In Ma’s opinion, all I need now is to find a good husband – but the heart wants what it wants! And right now my heart keeps beating for Moses.

But it is eight years later now and I know I am living in the past. I need to focus on the present and look to the future. It is easier said than done, but I am determined to make a change.

I decide I need to widen my interests and friendship circle, so I join a gym to do some kickboxing. Soon enough, I meet interesting people and it is fun. I start going on walkathons and hiking with my new gym fanatic buddies. We play volleyball and baseball, we go swimming – things that I did not grow up doing – but I learn fast.

On one of these outings I meet Katlego. He is a personal trainer and we like each other. We soon become friends, spending more and more time together.

Katlego’s a gentleman, two years older than me, and he likes me very much. We start hanging out together, without the group. As we are interested in the same things, we get along well, and soon see each other three to four times a week.

Ma becomes intrigued and hopeful. “Gcina, this guy who picks you up here, why doesn’t he come inside the house?”

“Mama, when the time is right I will formally introduce you to him, okay,” I respond.

“Oh – and what time is it now Gcina?”

“It’s time to put on my shoes because that guy who picks me up has just parked outside. Goodnight Ma.” I slip into my wedges, grab my handbag and walk out. Katlego is taking me out to dinner.

* ** * *

“Oh my word, a sushi bar!” I exclaim.

“Yeah. I noticed the other day when Clive, Busi and I were talking about sushi that you were quiet, and I knew you were a virgin,” says Katlego.

“A virgin?” I say and squint at him quizzically.

“Yeah, a sushi virgin,” Katlego smiles. “So I brought you here to break your sushi virginity.”

I laugh as the restaurant hostess leads us to our table. “Katlego, thank you,” I say, with the purest smile. “Not just for the sushi experience, but also for being a breath of fresh air.”

Katlego smiles. “So today I’m ‘a breath of fresh air’? Just last week you called me ‘chimney’ for smoking. I know you hate it.”

I frown. “That’s the one thing I don’t understand about you. Why do you smoke? It’s odd. You’re a gym fanatic, a diet health nut and then you poison your body with nicotine smoke. It just doesn’t fit.”

“I started smoking in high school. I just haven’t been able to quit since then.”

“Well, have you tried?”

“Maybe not hard enough. But you’re here now and you hate it, so maybe now I have a different motivation all together.”

“Hmm,” I smirk. I like being a ‘motivation’.

The waiter comes to take our order.

“K, I’m gonna let you handle this one,” I say.

And so Katlego orders.

“So what should I expect? Should I believe the hype?”

Katlego laughs. “First tell me about the hype.”

“Well ‘sushi this, sushi that’, as if its sooo amazing – is it amazing?”

Katlego is still laughing. “Honestly I don’t think it’s amazing but I do enjoy it, and it’s different.”

“Definitely different, I didn’t grow up with such luxuries. It’s good though to experience new things. I can’t wait.”

***

Tell us: Do you think one person’s smoking could be a deal-breaker in a new relationship?