“Thato, what does this all mean? Why would you do this to us?”

“I don’t know what it means, and I didn’t mean for all of this to happen I swear.”

Kabelo finally stops pulling all my clothes out of our closet and looks at me for the first time since I got back to the house. He has been avoiding my gaze and walking in and out of rooms in the house throwing my belongings into boxes and suitcases.

I have tried pleading with him to stop, and talk to me, with no luck until now.

“Then what did you think would happen?! How can you look me in the eye and tell me that, when you cheated on me, you didn’t mean for that to affect us?”

“I didn’t know things would go this far. Moving here changed everything for me and you were out there living your life … and I felt left behind, stagnant. I wasn’t happy and I hated the resentment I carried inside me.”

“Wait – so all of this is my fault?”

“That isn’t what I’m saying at all. Tell me something, would you have thought to go out looking for me tonight if you didn’t have a dinner meeting, paperwork, or some guys’ outing?”

He sank to the floor and put his face in his hands. It broke my heart that I was hurting him, but I realised we both needed to be honest about our relationship. We had been living separate lives for weeks and in truth, neither of us had seemed to mind.

“I don’t think I expected you to cheat. I didn’t expect you to be interested in women either. It’s all so confusing and infuriating, like all eight years we have spent together means nothing.”

“Don’t say that, cos I have loved you. I just think we changed, me more than you probably.”

I sit down next to him and place my hand over his. Tears stream down my face as I lay my head on his shoulder. I feel his body relax as he lets go of all the tension he had been holding inside. We sit in silence for a long moment before he speaks again.

“You’re going to leave me aren’t you?”

“Why would you say that?”

“I saw the way you looked at her. You’ve never looked at me that way. And I can tell she cares for you.”

I look up into his eyes before I speak. “I may be in love with her.”

“I think I knew you were slipping through my fingers, but I pushed those thoughts to the back of my head. I didn’t want to have to face losing you. Looking in your eyes right now I can see that there is no use fighting. You’re not mine anymore.”

“I am so sorry Kabelo,” I say, sobbing into his shoulder.

He lifts my chin towards him, kisses my trembling lips gently, then gets up and heads towards the door. He stops suddenly; turns to face me.

“All I want is for you to be happy and if I don’t make you happy then you should go where your heart is. It hurts and it will take me time to get over it, but I want you to be happy.”

I stagger to my feet and walk over to him. I take off my ring and place it in the palm of his hand, then kiss his cheek.

“I love you. And I am so sorry.”

Then it hits me: I had let fear of a new kind of relationship get in the way of being with Sino. I used my being engaged as an excuse to keep her at arm’s length, not commit. I may love Kabelo but I have never loved him as much as I love Sino.

I don’t regret being with Kabelo cos he lead me to Sino, but I think Kabelo and I are meant to end here. Sometimes people come into your life to teach you something about yourself or steer you down a path that leads to your destiny. Well, at least, I hope that’s how it works.

I am not proud of how I handled the whole situation but I am so grateful that I got to meet Sino and have her in my life.

It breaks my heart to hurt a man who has been such a big part of my life for so long but I need to follow my heart. I hope he gets to meet someone who will mend his heart and fill his soul. Right now I need to do what’s best for me. I can’t stay with him and resent him – it isn’t fair to either of us.

A clean break is what is best for us and one day Kabelo may even thank me for this. For the moment I need to pick myself even though it hurts him.

“I need to go. You stay here. It’s your home. I’ll figure out what to do about my stuff tomorrow. I hope you can forgive me one day.”

“I hope so too. I love you … I mean … well I hope it all works out.”

Tell us: What do you think of the way Kabelo handled this situation? Have he and Thato done the right thing?