Smoking weed in Pa’s car! That was it! I gave the signal and Stallone bounded through the car’s window and landed on his head. The guy gave a muffled scream as Stallone urinated in his face, extinguishing the joint in his mouth, as more cats filled the car.

The cats were all over him, scratching and ripping at his clothes. Stallone changed position, sat behind his head and wrapped his hind legs around the perps scrawny neck then pulled his head back with his front paws. The thief’s eyes were balled in fear. I jumped onto the steering wheel and looked him in the eye. His eyes almost popped out. He recognised me from when he stole the car.

He was totally rattled, caught up in a nightmare beyond the realms of his world. I held onto his pop-eyed stare and sent him the message with my eyes. He knew why we were there.

Take this car back where it belongs… That was the message. Loud and clear.

He was freaked out, I could see. He nodded or tried to nod his head that he understood.

So we journeyed home to Pa’s house. I sat on the dashboard, Stallone on his neck and a cat each on the pedals. It was early morning and there were few cars on the road. The thug drove erratically, he was shaking so much in fear. He screamed and almost smashed into a wall when Stallone squirted down his neck.

He parked the car in Pa’s driveway. We jumped out and stood around waiting for him to make a run for it. He shut down the engine, locked himself in the car, closed the car windows and sat there singing to himself. He had completely lost his mind.

Pa heard the sound, got up and looked through the window to find the car with the thief locked inside. Pa was bewildered as he took all this in. Then he saw all of us sitting on the walls and rooftops. He got the message, and a slow smile spread across his face.

I walked up to him and looked him in the eye. He knelt down and rubbed my head and invited me inside, but I just turned and walked away thinking: You rest easy Pa.

It was time for me to go.

I jumped over the wall and never looked back once.

I was going to find my secret place to lie down and die. Gaddafi was calling.

Tell us: Did any of the cats remind you of actual people you know? Did you enjoy the cats’ form of revenge on the thief?