Refilwe, my cousin, comes to visit, all smiles and hugs. “Oh Lex! Why didn’t you tell me? This is so great! I’m so happy for you and Abigail!”

My mama is in the passage, looking curious. So I tug my cousin by the arm out into the street.

“What are you talking about, Refilwe?”

“About the baby! Oh man, Lex, it will be the cutest little thing ever with you two for parents. I can’t wait. What do you reckon? Will it be a girl or a boy?”

“There’s no baby!” I say with force.

“Of course there’s a baby, Lex,” Refilwe says. “I went with Abigail to her doctor’s appointment this morning. I saw Abigail’s yellow Maternity Folder. I saw the doctor writing stuff in it. He checked her and he says everything is fine. She’s going for her first scan soon. You know, that ultra-sound thing? Then you’ll have a photo of your baby-to-be.”

The giant hand closes round my throat once more and a giant arm reaches round my chest to crush my lungs. While Refilwe babbles on.

“We’re off to the mall to look for baby clothes. Why don’t you come along? Abigail would love that.”

I squeeze Refilwe’s wrist, harder than I meant to. She looks at me in shock.

I say, “Don’t you say a word about this to my mother. Don’t you dare. Nor to my dad and Lindiwe either. Promise me. Swear it!”

*****

I sit with BK on our favourite rock, out past the stadium. For once, he isn’t laughing and joking around like he normally does.

He is serious, deadly serious. “It’s early days, Lex. You know, with the pregnancy. You still have a chance. There are ways, you know.”

“Ways?”

“Ways to take care of the problem. Make it disappear.”

“You mean … ?” I can’t even bear to say the word.

“Yes, Lex. Abortion. Termination. Whatever you want to call it. I mean, surely this Abigail doesn’t want to be stuck with a baby now? She’s only twenty, right? She’s surely got a whole lot of living still to do. Plus it’s totally legal.”

I don’t answer. Because I can’t believe what I am thinking at this moment, sitting on this rock, looking out over the stadium.

You must understand, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury: for me and my family and my mother’s church in which I grew up, abortion is never right – even if it’s legal. I myself have always thought: how can anyone dare to stop a life before it is half-way begun? How can anyone bear to do such a thing?

I remember back at school when we were discussing this. I stood up and said, “What if that little baby was destined to be a great leader? Or a great scientist who would rid the world of some terrible disease? Or even just a fine, decent human being who would make the world a better place? No, I think abortion is totally wrong! It doesn’t matter what the reason is.”

Yes, that’s the way I always thought. Before. But now, sitting on this rock beside BK, while the sun sets behind the soccer posts, suddenly abortion seems like the perfect answer. The solution to all my troubles. The end to all my stress. A golden light shining in my darkness.

I phone Abigail. Surely BK is right? Surely she doesn’t want her life complicated with nappies and stuff when she is young? When she should be out having fun?

But Abigail doesn’t give me a chance to speak. As I said before, she’s like a radio talk-show programme on steroids.

“Oh my Lekker-Lex! I’m so glad you phoned. Listen, I was just thinking. We should tell your parents soon. Shall we do that together, do you think?”

***

Tell us: How do you feel about abortion? Are you pro-life or pro-choice?