OMG girlfriend is it true? Is
Themba really dead? There’s a
rumour he committed suicide!!!!! 😮
Ntsiki reads the message from Tay and slumps down against the wall in the back yard, hugs her knees to her chest, places her chin on her knees and stares at the swing Themba had suspended from the tree. Why did you do it? Why, Themba? Tears stream down her cheeks and silent sobs rack her body.
The following Saturday at the Mbatha house, at the After Tears party, Ntsiki spots Lilitha at the drinks table and strides over to her. “We need to talk.”
“I’m listening.”
“Not here! Let’s go over to my house – there’s no-one there.”
“Sounds serious.”
“You bet it is. Masambe!” Ntsiki starts walking away from Lilitha.
“Andiyaz’, Ntsiki. You look angry. Scary angry.”
Ntsiki whirls around. “I’m not angry – I need answers, and I know you have them. Please, Lilitha.”
“Okay. But no craziness.”
The girls stroll across the street to Ntsiki’s house. When they enter the gate, Lilitha reaches out and taps Ntsiki on the shoulder. “We’re here now, so talk.”
“Hayi, not out here, I don’t need an audience. Let’s go inside.”
As the door clicks shut behind them, Ntsiki pounces. “You knew, didn’t you?”
“Knew what?”
“Asseblief, sana, don’t act stupid. You know I’m talking about Themba. Is that what you wanted to warn me about?”
Lilitha’s eyes dart around before she nods her head.
“Vula umlomo wakho. Tell me what happened, Lilitha. How did you find out?”
Lilitha rocks back and forth on her heels. “I think … I think he got it from Gloria.”
“Nyhani? That Grade 11 girl who died of TB?”
“Ewe.” Lilitha’s eyes drop to the floor and she takes a deep breath before raising them. “I went to the clinic last month, kaloku … I skipped my period – I thought I was pregnant.” She shakes her head. “That’s when I found out. I didn’t even suspect I could be … I mean … I didn’t feel sick.” She sniffs back her tears. “I was a virgin, and Themba was the only guy I’d been with.”
Ntsiki takes a step toward her. “I’m so sorry.”
Lilitha tries to smile. “It’s not your fault.”
“He said I cursed him when I asked him to get tested.”
“Everyone warned me about Themba – telling me he’ll only use me – but the heart always thinks it knows what’s best for it, neh? If only I had listened to them.” Lilitha breaks down sobbing, falling to her knees. “And my p… p …parents … every … one. How …”
Ntsiki kneels down and takes Lilitha’s hands in hers. “You don’t have to tell anyone – except your parents.”
“They’ll be so … so disappointed with me. And the ARVs … people will find out …”
“Mamela–”
Lilitha snatches her hands from Ntsiki’s grasp and covers her face with them.
“Hina, Lilitha, I’ve met your parents and they’re wonderful people. You don’t even have to get your meds at the local clinic. And if anyone suspects, maybe you can say you’re taking …” Ntsiki drums her fingers against her thigh, “… All Required Vitamins – ‘ARVs’ see?”
Despite the tumult of emotions racing through her mind, Lilitha bursts out laughing, tears streaming down her cheeks. “That’s kinda clever. Thanks, Ntsiki.”
“Anytime, chommie.”
“Chommie?”
Ntsiki lowers her eyes, guilt pounding at her heart. “I could easily have been in your shoes, and I was mean when you tried to tell me about Themba – to protect me – like a friend would.”
“Sure. But you’re not in my shoes, are you?”
“I was lucky … if I hadn’t seen that letter … If you ever need someone to talk to, I’ll be here – even just to theth’nonsense.” Ntsiki opens her arms and envelopes Lilitha in a warm hug. “You don’t have to deal with this on your own.”
Lilitha breaks free from the hug. “How do I know you won’t tell anyone, Ntsiki? How do I know I can trust you?”
“Because it’s not my business to tell. I never told anyone about Themba, not even Tay. He’s the one who didn’t trust, and forgot my grandmother’s lesson.”
“What lesson? Was she a teacher?”
Ntsiki snickers and shakes her head. “UGogo wam wasn’t a school teacher – she didn’t even finish primary school – but she’s wise. One of her favourite sayings is: ‘You can conquer mountains if you let your faith be bigger than your fears.'”
***
Tell us: How do you feel about Themba’s suicide? What is this story saying about privacy and trust around HIV and Aids?