“Tox! Please wake up!”

My eyes open, and I pull in a huge breath. I start coughing. To my shock, Dad is crying, holding me on my bed.

“Dad?”

“Tox,” he says, kissing my forehead, “how can you do this to us? If I hadn’t decided to come back I could have lost you. I came back to talk to you.”

“How did you get in?”

“I had to break the door, I was lucky to receive your text close to home.”

“You wanted to talk?”

“Yes, I was tired of pretending to be strong before you. In fact, I also thought of doing the same, but I didn’t do it because I thought about who would look after you and comfort you when I’m gone. And if I as your father failed to be strong before your eyes, what would you have become? Tox, only the two of us remain for each other.”

“Dad, that’s all I ever wanted to hear from you. For you to share your feelings with me. You keeping to yourself with your emotions and not saying anything made me think that I was wrong, weak, and that maybe deep inside you didn’t care at all.”

“I care about you, and I never wanted to cry before your eyes, not again, I wanted you to be stronger and be better than me. I have a broken heart already, but Tox, if you killed yourself it would shatter my soul and I don’t think I can live with that.”

“I see it now, you love me. You love me the same way Mom does, and you always have.”

“We still have someone to live for, son, and that’s me and you, for each other.”

“Oh, Dad.”

I hug him. I feel my neck itching with pain caused by the bruises the rope inflicted on me. But that doesn’t matter now. My dad has given me another reason to live, and I love him.

***

THREE DAYS LATER

I’m with Dad at Mavelly beach; it’s where he and Mom met. We would come here almost every holiday of the year — it reminded them of how far they’d come in life together. I listen to the beach waves, the birds and wind, it’s like they’re gently singing a well-conducted song for the both of us. The warmth of the sun, it’s also giving me the comfort that I’ve always wanted.

“What would your mom say every time we were here?”

“She’d say that if ever I want reconnect with your spirits and love, this is the place. It’s where Mom and Dad met, so it’s where I come from.”

“Yes, this is your second home.”

He hugs me, and kisses me on my forehead.

“Dad, you should stop doing that, I’m older now.” I push him off jokingly.

“To me you’ll always be my son,” he says, brushing me on the head.

“Stop it!”

I’ve talked with myself, and I’ve come to the conclusion that none of us is going to live forever. So I’ve decided to try to accept that my mom is no more. It’s something I can’t reverse. I’ll be going back to attending my classes, no more hurting. I can do this! I believe in myself once again! I promise you, Mom, to be strong, and I hope to sometime in the future open a trauma counselling and rehabilitation centre. I’ll help save many of the innocent lives in our community. Hopefully I’ll do it in time, while there’s still someone left to save.

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