I don’t know how I got from my bedroom to Chidi’s house but I found myself in front of his gate. I could hear Chidi shouting. I couldn’t make out the words. I opened the gate and entered the house. The front door was wide open. Bro Emeka was standing to one side of the door. There was no need to ask if what Dad had told me was true. Chidi was on a rampage, the TV was broken, so was a mirror that had been on a wall, two armchairs lay on their sides and one of the side tables had a cracked leg. He was stationed in front of the divider and was throwing drinking glasses and anything he could lay hands against a wall. “WHY? WHY? WHY ME?” he kept shouting.

“WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? WHY ME? WHY?” He caught sight of me and sank to the floor and then he just started crying. His cries wracked his body and made him tremble. I picked my way through the mess on the floor, sat beside him and just held him. That made him cry harder. There were a thousand and one questions I wanted to ask but his weeping broke my heart. His dad started sweeping up the broken glass. We must have been on the floor for thirty minutes before he quietened. He got up and headed to his room. I followed him. At the door he turned to me with bloodshot eyes.

“I need to be alone right now,” he said.

“Okay,” I said and stood there while he entered his room and slammed the door in my face.

“Thank you for coming,” Bro Emeka said with tears in his eyes.

I couldn’t speak. I just nodded. I’d held in the tears when Chidi had broken down but I couldn’t anymore. They streamed down my face. Bro Emeka hugged me really tight and said, “I’m glad he has you.”

“It’s the other way round,” I said. “I’m glad I have him.”

“He’ll be going for a blood transfusion tomorrow. We’ll leave for Nigeria by the end of the week so he can start another round of chemotherapy.”

I couldn’t speak. I just nodded.

Dad was in the living room when I got home. The TV was muted. There was static on the screen, but Dad was just sitting there staring into space, probably praying. I switched off the TV before he noticed I was there. He opened his arms and I climbed into them. It was an awkward fit and my legs hang over the sofa but Dad still managed to get his arms around me and I began crying again.

Dad made oats for breakfast, but neither of us could eat. Sarfoa was the only one who was eating. Somehow, without actually talking about it, it had been unanimously agreed that none of us were going to school. Dad was tidying up the stove where the oats had boiled over when Bro Emeka called to say Chidi had been detained at the hospital for observation.

We went to the hospital later that afternoon during visiting hours. Chidi was in a private room. There was a plastic tube in his nose giving him oxygen. I’d never thought you could describe a black person as pale but he was. His eyes were sunken and he really did look sick.

He groaned when he saw us. Sarfoa gave him a card she had made him. Dad put the fruit juices we had bought on the side table. We all chatted a bit and then Dad and Sarfoa left us alone.

“I didn’t want you to see me like this. I thought we’d be in Nigeria before it set in.”

“I’m sorry I got mad at you yesterday.”

“Don’t you dare take this upon yourself. This is not your cross. I didn’t get sick because of what happened yesterday. Don’t go blaming yourself for this too.”

I didn’t say anything.

“Promise me you won’t.”

“I promise,” I sobbed.

I took his hand and he squeezed mine. “If you feel better tomorrow, I’ll sing with you at church. During first mid-week service.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s on your list isn’t it?”

He nodded. “But I’d like you to sing even if I’m not there.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“I mean, we might go to Accra tomorrow or on Thursday and then we’ll fly to Nigeria. I have insurance there. It would be expensive if I started chemotherapy here. I’ll beat this thing. I’ll come back before you know it.”

I nodded. “We’ll sing it together when you get back.”

“Great idea. I would have sung, I will be still and know you are God, but we can sing anything you want.”

A nurse came in and asked me to let Chidi get some rest. I met Brother Emeka outside with Dad. I gave him a big hug. We left and promised to come back the next day. That night all three of us slept in Dad’s bed.