When they all left the house I came out of my room. I’d vowed not to step out the entire day but

I was hungry. I microwaved some leftover jollof rice and ate it. I gobbled it up fast. I didn’t want any of them walking in on me in the kitchen.

I left the house and walked to the main street that led into the town. I kept walking until I was out of the town, until I got to the cemetery. I opened the small black metal gate and made my way to Mama’s grave. The headstone said

Asi Puplampu, loving wife and mother. Forever in our hearts. Did two and a half years constitute forever? How could he forget so soon? I sat by

Mama’s grave and pulled out the weeds that had grown around the tombstone. The red roses we had brought on her anniversary had wilted.

The dried, crinkled leaves crumbled as I touched them. Someone had placed three sunflowers on top of them. They looked half dead. They didn’t have clean cut stems like the roses. I didn’t think Nene could walk this far by himself. It definitely wasn’t Pope. He was so caught up in Naadu that he had forgotten all about Mama. It couldn’t be Nyewayo either, she hadn’t even liked Mama. It had to be Mantse. I arranged the flowers on

Mama’s grave and brushed the dead roses away.

The first few months after her death had been the worst. I kept seeing her everywhere, kept hearing her voice. Sometimes I would hear her voice or her laughter and would actually turn around expecting to see her behind me. Or I’d see someone in a crowd and think it was her. I’d cried anytime I saw a picture of her or something that belonged to her. I remember Nyewayo had wanted to take down all her pictures and had wanted to give her things away but Pope had refused. I don’t remember when I was able to talk about her without a lump forming in my throat. There was a time I thought of her every single day because I didn’t want to forget anything about her—her smell, her look, her voice, her laughter.

A lump formed in my throat and the tears came down and fast. “Why did you have to die? Pope’s forgotten you already and Nene, Nene hasn’t spoken a word since you died. Pope’s getting married to this fat woman who has hair growing on her chin and her chest. She looks like she came from the bush just yesterday, but everyone is praising her and saying how good she is. I hate her. She made him forget you.”

I sniffed and watched two crows chase each other up a frangipani tree.

“I lost your watch. The gold one with the rhinestones. Actually someone stole it. Lamisi stole it. You remember Lamisi Atindana, don’t you? She’s the one who couldn’t go back to Tamale for midterms and you asked me to invite her home. When we were going back to school you even bought some provisions for her and gave her pocket money. Aseye agreed that it was Lamisi who stole the watch because she was the last one to leave the dorm that day and anyway I just had this feeling that it was her. I got punished for accusing her and some of the girls stopped talking to me. Even Sedem said I was wrong to accuse Lamisi without any evidence. I miss you so much, so, so much.”

The tears welled faster in my eyes. When I ran out of things to say I just sat by mom’s grave and stared at the sky and the birds until I became drowsy. I snuggled against Mama’s headstone and fell asleep.