Extract from Bishop Lawrence’s Diary
What have I done? What have I done? God is good but man is “a poor forked creature”. I pray I have done the right thing. Up as usual around 6.00am. Watered garden and said morning prayers. The papers were full of trouble at the CAPU event. Thanks be to God there was nothing worse than words. Little did I know as I read the papers how I would become involved. Romeo arrived and at first I chastised him for what he did last night and how he could have started a full scale brawl. He stopped me with the most extraordinary news: he and Khunjulwa Khuzwayo were in love. They were in love, completely in love. I was skeptical and dismissed it as nonsense, a crush, a stupid crush. He was calm and rational, not like the rather vague young man I had known. Something has definitely happened to him. He asked me if I believed in God and if so how could I deny the possibility of an all consuming love, a love for which there is no rational explanation, a love which does not follow the codes of men, a love which is like a fire, a love which is like ice, a love beyond all else. His certainty was simply unshakeable. He admitted he had gone to the ball to try to meet another girl but that by accident he had danced with Khunjulwa and as soon as he had touched her hand it had happened. She had looked at him and they knew that the world had shifted. I told him that tremendous physical desire can seem like love, that true love is based on knowledge and shared values and common beliefs.To claim to be in love with a girl he had spent less than half an hour with was simply to misunderstand the word and, to put it crudely, to allow the girls physical attractiveness to cloud his reason and sense. He asked me for what reason did God give his son to the world? I answered because He loved us. Was that rational behavior he asked? I told him firmly that I hoped that he was not comparing his trivial passion for a girl to God’s immense love for the world. He looked me in the eye and said yes he was, and then God forgive me, I slapped him. I who have advocated peace and spoken against violence for years actually struck a young man. I expected him to react in a dramatic manner of some sort, as he would have done twenty four hours previously. However he remained totally calm, he said he was sorry that he had upset me, that he wasn’t being blasphemous, that he just meant that maybe God occasionally allowed us to feel truly human through the power of love. If that was true then what did it matter about time? They were going to be together and wanted to be married. He argued that maybe it was meant to happen in order to bring peace into the current violence. As I write I once again begin to doubt, but his certainty when he stood in front of me was overpowering; so I agreed to marry them. Please God I have done right.