A short story about young love and ponies.
223 Responses
A very short story indeed. There's no story here either. Ag voetsek, Fundza, you're wasting my time :o(
As a reader of many horrors nothing took hold of my mind its more of a weird romanance it made no sense and ended stupidly. More effect next time make my mind travel
Was that meant to be a horror story? Come on...even Snow White is more thrilling than this. There was no climax at all and the end was anti climax. DISAPPOINTED
da author was very creative. i love da way he arrangd hs wrds n it really had a gripping end. kip it up
lady-licious:P. wel i hvnt bin 0n 1 wit ma current bf8ond nw hz kyda wantng ma virginati!8o8oin hell sure! m s0 gng 2 pt hm 2 w8!
Ai *people* thys ntn wr0ng wit the ending, its jst that th€ st0wi is fil€d wit mystery, im pr€ty xo u guys wantd th€ dud€ nd da chicki 2 go riding d0wn th€ suns€t wit a p0ny w€l lyf is nt lyk that nd so is ths st0wi. . . .g€t ova it
It was cool bt it realy need a part 2 lyk wher ther guy play hero and save the gal and thn they mk love(H)
The trees was at the city then old man cut the trees and the trees at night go n kill the old man and old man was a doll and old man have the money and the cow then old man diad the tree's was inside the box of old man
Crackin' story! but I agree the ending has to made a little more clear, if you miss the eye colour reference early on you may be a bit lost in the ending, a second narrative sign may be a good idea. If you liked this you might like this http://shortysshebeen.co.za/story/20/read (but it's not a mobile sight yet, coming soon)
What the heck happened to yoza? One story a month? Come on... People are going to lose interest if you don't pull those socks up.
TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS STORY:
you're morons! it's soooooooo simple and obvious! ugh
Good despite one distracting grammer error (effect, not affect).
Great concept! Very spooky ending. I really enjoyed this story.
*Yoh Yoza is that all u givin us bt i mst say that stoRy waS awsum i realy liked it at 1st i ddnt undastnd luks like i get it nw put m0re m0re m0re m0re st0ries lyk dat*
Owk, weird, creeeeeepy, bt so much fun if it was a buk i'd say page turner, realy kwl. Bt it wud have bn excelent if it was a lil detaild on wat hapend to the chick and a lil bit of horror wuda bn grt bt thumbz up 2 the author grt story. And yoza do we realy have 2 wait 4 the 1st of evry month a mean 1 story jus dont do it 4 30dayz, mayb u shud think abt our plea and do sum abt it we aint leavin comments 4 nun by thanx 4 the grt stories yall rock
Da stori waz gr8 da person hu wrot t z gud at t, but t ending waz not wat i expectd bt t gr8 do. Kip t up ;)
The stry lft m wt a ? Bt its a gud story m stl cnfsd though,dd da gal turn in2 a p0nie or ws sh a pnie n general:,...gd wrk 2da authr
yea well i also ddnt like it dnt get it, bt dnt be so harsh on yoza thy could still be looking 4 writers.
The bggning was awsm lvd it,bt the end o.m.g i got nthng. . the hrse wth the blu nd brwn eyes wat daz the eys of tht hrse got 2 do wth the stry i ddnt get it.
wow ths is a fantabulously gruellin story...it jst goes 2 show that a story can be short & sweet without havin 2 go around in boring circles.tha thing tht i luv is tht tha end leaves u in total control of decidin wat really happnd..it leaves u in suspence..chickachurr 2 da author
The start was ok and the body and the end of the story is a bit confusing . I think the story lacked a background information. The end leaves you with many questions and it makes the story a puzzle.
Yoza team cumon b creative we wnt more stories nt dis stpd 1st date dat hs no sense. Plz brng bk *kontax* nd *awesumes plz*
The chick was a horse all da tym n dat explains her love 4 them i wna knw mre about it n i know i shuldnt b attracted 2 such stuff bt its my fave stowi
Ai y0za! It t00k me a few minutes 2 read nd l0ve the st0ry.. Nt da wh0le m0nth! May is 2 l0ng! Cum 0n guys.. P:(
Ok so da canival steals souls into da carousel nd tht makes it so scary thts y da lst gal was afraid nd da whte pony nd da fire poi guy r da 1s tht pulld da gal's soul thru to da other children's stolen souls thts y da date boy heard screams whn da fire poi guy opend da flap nd instantly they were gne.man u r gud bt i got u.u cn write thnx.blackheart
Dnt knw wats da p0int f dc st0ri yes t z nyc n intresting bt eish ts lyk ts being translate by ma 6 year 0ld ccta .:[ c'm0n y0za
Freakin brilliant is wat I say...lol, hez good "I thnk wel need to replace it soon" lol, wat a replacement dat was...m neva takin ma gal 2 d circus!!(G)
I jus wanda how hell explain dis 1 2 his/her parents nd their fwends:P
Shoo! Whot a lame story, if this iz whot we hav for May then 4get 'bout June stories, they to0 gonn' be LAME!!! (G)
I dnt vrekin get this?? did she like turn into a horse or was it just the guys imagionation tht he was on a d8 wit tht girl...
Nyc story, figad t wld hve 1 of thze freaky endngz. Bt rili nw, jst tht 1 story 4 th entire mnth? Nah
*No guys hw cn u write sch a borin complicated confusng stry 4 whole mnths we've been w8n.de author wrote lyk an illerate jerk guy hu dsnt evn knw de grd R door.u xud get a lyf.analys twice b4 pblshng.*
Haibo haibo YOZA niaqhela ngku.wot z 1 to du ke 4 tha rst of tha mnth?cm0n guz.u get us hukd 2 tha storiez nw u du ths ha.a man.i kip chckn evri dae hpen that thrz a folow up on tha storie bt nix.anwei i LAVD tha storie.plz plz ad jst 1 LOooong chptr 4 us&wl b 4 eva gr8ful.cz ths p0ney thng ha.a ts 2 2 2 ova tha top
Ja da stowi was nyc, bt u.v got 2 b kiddin me i mean lyk dat was da stowi 4 da whle mnth yoza n0. Evn lst mnth u did lyk ths. Plz fix ths problem. We want a stowi wf chapterz 30 atleast plz nw.
It seemz al yoza readerz wnt the same thing MoRe StOrIeZ so plz gv us mo nt less n lesser haybo,i cnt blv u gave us such a short story 4 the whle of may!!
Oh gosh da gal z a pony nw :|. Does ds mean dat da otha horses are ppl who got lost? (shakin wit fear). Ths waz a dope stowi. Wen nid mo chaptaz maan:e
:{HORROR??:{ are u sure??:, ok soo da gal was chgd to a horse/acording to my undstndng/....and dts supose to be scary??oh m rily scared(G)..i hpe we ar nt expctd to rid dat for ds whole mnth,dt wuld b realy stupid8o
Yoza sucks dis days, first date ws a lame excuse of a story, heck evn de endin sucks. We wna intriguing stories. Gve us somethin dat wil keep us comin 4 mor
Ths z wat i dnt layk bwt em writerz....they leave us lookng 4 more.......adawayz nayc stori hey.....i laykd it.....
its one good story which won my heart,i never read stories until i reach its end chpter bt dis 1 i did..its marvlous
U must b realy kidin, hw on earth cud u expect us to read dat horror ol mnth lng? C'mon, we nid episodes
Wel dis is a short story guys stop complaining abt d charpters! N i thnk d story was fine bt 2 horrific 4 me at d end m nt rly fond of horror stuff bt thx 4 d story..
Cm on yoza hv u run out of strys hw cn we gt thrg may wit 1 shrt stry .its nt lyk u gys m dsppnt big tym
I dnt get it i read the story 3tymz bt stil.is the gal a pony or wat. U skuld mak a move out of ths story tht way we can undrstnd it more
*This is the 0nly st0ry f0r May? . .i'm dissap0inted. .well,the st0ry was very interestimg but y0za sh0uld bring back st0ries that are 0ne chapter a day. .it was much better. .^sigh^*
Dd d fire guy chngd dt chck in2 a pony...wht rily hapnd...anihow yoza sucks ds day,its only publishn 1 shot story 4 hol mnth..c'mon
awsme ending now that is a first date that i would wana go through....excpt the part wer my date turns to a horse:O
This is the crap theyre giving us this month?What happnd to kontax,streetskillz,sisters and so on?And wheres this new awsums we were promisd 2 munths ago?
I thnk it startd wel bt then at da end it was shokin indeed...i stil wana knw wat da guy dd afta he saw da eyes at da end
Is dis lyk da only story we r 2 get 4 da hole mnth of may,lyk realy cum on guys nd worse it dsnt hv chapters,
Oh nw i think i get it. Its a short story, thats y most ppl dnt rily get it. Kanti wht duz the word short min kuni coz its writtn ``short story`` evn b4 u rid it.
Strange bt lyk it. It remains me of my first date it was a strange i met him on mxit he was al wearng black n ddnt want to go to da sun i thnk he was a vampire. Anyway i lykd da story!!