Sigh.

I just wrote my last exam. Finally I can breathe… and sing “The storm is over now” at the top of my voice.

That’s about all I can say after the semester I’ve had. Of all the 5 semesters I’ve been to college this one was the most challenging. In fact, it was the worst semester ever! As things stand, I’ve already dropped about 12% percent from last year’s overall average. But, at least, I’ve passed, right?

Three results of the five exams I wrote are out. A horror! I’ve got an average of 60 % so far. This is really bad. I don’t even know how I’ll hide this from my mom, she’s already asking how I did and my answer has been plain, simple and vague.

“I passed,” I’ve been telling her.

It’s not a lie, but it’s far from the truth too. To mom, passing is not just passing. Passing, to her, is doing exceptionally well.

“Zinzi, you’re being hard on yourself. . . I’m sure your mom will understand,” Linda told me the other day. She insists on calling me with my full name, I don’t know why though.

But she’s got a point. Mom has no other choice but to understand. I mean, I’ve done everything I could, I did my best. But I won’t tell her that bcoz I won’t hear the end of it if I do.

But I’m glad it’s all over now. I feel as if the weight of Table Mountain has been removed from my shoulders. That’s exactly how it feels to be writing exams! You feel as if something is weighing you down. There’s nothing else you can think about but the fact that you are writing. It’s always there – in the back of your mind – 24/7. Whenever you want to do something, it’s the first thing that comes to mind.

You can’t even go out with friends nor do anything for that matter. I don’t always have an excuse for going out, but when you’re on your third year there’s not even space for that. I honestly underestimated third year. I thought everything would be like the previous two years in college. But that was not the case.

How? What do I mean?

Well, the first two years, I didn’t have to work for good marks. I got an average of 73% and sometimes I did that without any conscious effort from my side. However, this semester… I had to work very hard every week to make sure that I didn’t flunk a module. I made conscious efforts of studying, pushing myself through the nights and working my ass off every day. But all I have to show for all that hard work is a lame 60% average.

What I’m trying to say is that the semester was challenging. I hope mom will understand too.

ZZ xxx

Dish it: does your mom pay attention to your school results? Does she expect you to always pass well?

Chat with me on my page: The Diary of Zinzi Zwane.