Me and my date are making out in the parking lot at Naughties’ Nightclub. She seems hungry. She’s licking and sucking at my face and making chewing noises. I try to dodge her tongue which sweeps across my chin like a windscreen wiper.

I’m coming up for air when my sister Dineo strolls past and says: ‘Introduce me to your date, Frank.’

My mouth dries up. I don’t know her name. She’s Skank One to me and Silas (who’s a couple of metres from me, partying with Skank Two).

My sister looks at me darkly. ‘Play safe tonight, hey, bro,’ she says as she walks away.

Safe? I feel as safe as a pack of cards in a hurricane. What if the condom breaks? What if Skank One gets pregnant? And I can’t even bear to think about the risk of catching the dread disease.

Before Skank One can start chewing on my face again, I say, ‘Hold it, what’s your name?’

‘My name?’ She asks me like it’s a question I’ve got the answer to.

‘Don’t you want to know my name?’ I ask her.

She laughs and says she doesn’t care. She’ll have forgotten it by morning anyway.

I think about tomorrow morning, waking up a real man and no longer a Virgin Loser. Not knowing the name of my first girl.

I hold the nameless girl away from me with a hand that is, for some reason, shaking.

Image: Steve Vosloo, CC-BY-2.0

WHAT DO YOU THINK? What do you think Frank should do right now?