Sebastian hates me now. He thinks that I no longer have time for him because we’ve long scheduled that today we will meet and I disappointed him again. I know I said we will make it up for the two days I’ve cancelled on him but today I couldn’t meet him. I have a test on Friday and I have to study and cancel on him. So he thinks whatever he is thinking and now his phone is off.

I do want to meet him but he’d better understand I am not doing this on purpose. If I could I would be with him 24/7, but I just CAN’T. It’s really beyond me sometimes and I can’t divide myself in two. I can only be in one place at one time and do one thing at a time.

I seriously don’t understand why he has to be so melodramatic about the whole matter. How is switching his phone off going to solve anything or would it only worsen things!

I left him a dozen messages but he still has not responded to none. I hate the games he plays and he knows it too. He is doing it to get under my skin and spite me – and sure he does.

ZZ xxx