Quite often we look beyond the obvious and complicate matters, aggravating situations which would have had a simple resolution. Like for instance the conversation between two gentlemen standing in the corner of the carriage.
“Ôs staff party is next Wednesday but ek het ’n stern warning van my motjie gekry ou bra,” the guy tells his friend.
“Hoe soe? Djy is altyd in control, never out of hand; vat jou drinks in moderation,” the second guy replies.
“But laas jaa’ was ek frustrated met my werk en personal issues, en djy wiet die alcohol offers a temporary escape, toe gaan ek bietjie te ver en my kop hak toe yt,” the first guy explains.
“But ek ken jou mossie soe nie. Djy is altyd die ou wat control vat,” the second guy says, looking surprised.
“Ja ek was ashamed; gedans sonder ’n hemp en in my trunky aangeklop by die receptionist en gesê ek smaak ha lankal.”
“En ek kannie onthou hoeveel tequilas ek gedown het nie. Yoh… Embarrassing,” the first guy explains looking down with guilt in his eyes.
“Maar jy het jou sieke enjoy broe, maa’ moet sê, ’n bietjie out of character,” the second guy adds.
“Daaisie allie. Iemand shoot toe n video waa’ ek strip en it kom met ’n style byrrie motjie yt,” this time he is wide-eyed, even looking surprised as he relives the moment.
“Nou wie is soe stupid om jou the spite?” the second guy asks sounding agitated.
The first guy doesn’t answer immediately. He quickly glances out the window as the train leaves Koeberg station then answers with a straight face: “Iemand wat my marriage wil destroy bra.”
The second looks shocked and for a moment he is speechless.
“Nwata gedagte eksê. Het jy ’n suspicion wie?”
“Sy willie sê wie nie; ek wil oekie wietie,” the first guy retorts.
He then continues: “Ek het gecheck die motjie het ’n affair want ôs is deur ’n tough time en sy was koud tienoo’ my. Meanwhile suspect die dokte’ ha ma het cancer, maa wag vi’ results en sy is te emotional om daa’ oo’ te praat.”
“Yoh bra… Hoe staan sake nou?” the second guy enquires.
“Sy kom ee’s yt daai stilstype toe die results wys die tumor is harmless but meanwhile toe gooi ek tantrums byrrie staff party,” the first guy tells his eager listener.
“My broe ek is mos bly vi’ jou. What a relief… Ek check dis curtains,” the second guy exclaims with a sigh of relief but is quick to add; “but wat was die outcome van die video clip?”
“Ek explain toe wat my frustrations en suspicions was en hoekom ek soe perform het, want ek’t gecheck is marriage is over and out.”
“Sy verstaan toe but ôs agree toe om ôs communication ’n bietjie op te beef, want dinge kan maklik pear-shape geganit.”
“Ja nai, ek agree broe. Nowadays toss mense yt oo’ petty goed,” his friend adds with sincerity.
“Ek het maa’ stêt tussen ’ie biene apologise vir my behaviour en gepromise dit sallie wee’ gebeu’ nie… na sy vi’ nog ’n wiek nie met my gepraat hettie,” the party animal explains.
“Maa’ sy koep my nogals ’n kwai Christmas present na ôs opgemaak’it,” he adds with a smile as we enter Salt River station.
“Kwai my gazi,” the friend says with a smile and giving him the thumbs up.
***
Urban Dictionary
motjie – An Afrikaaps word for “wife” originating from the Cape Malays.
aangeklop – An Afrikaans word (past tense) of which the present tense “aanklop” means to “knock at someone’s door. In Afrikaaps it means to make advances at or chat up someone in whom you have a romantic interest.
daaisie allie – The Afrikaans slang version of “daai is nie al nie” which literally translates to “that is not all”.
nwata – An Afrikaaps word meaning someone or something that is “worthless”.
tienoo’ – The Afrikaaps version of “teenoor” which is Afrikaans for “towards”.
stilstype – The Afrikaaps version of “stilstuipe” which is an
Afrikaans word meaning “silent fits” which is when someone gives you “the silent treatment”.
stet – The Afrikaaps version of “stert” which is Afrikaans for “tail”.
biene – The Afrikaaps version of “bene” which is Afrikaans for “legs / bones”.
opgemaak – The Afrikaans word for “made up” as in “reconciled”.
kwai – The Afrikaaps version of “kwaai” which is an Afrikaans word for “fearsome” but in Cape Town slang it also means “awesome”, “fantastic” or “in a cool way”.
gazi – A South African word used extensively on the Cape Flats meaning “brother” from the isiXhosa word “gazilam” (presumably slang) loosely translated as “blood of mine”.